He Is a Master Who Can’t Handle a Slave Properly - Chapter 75



75 – IF Gaiden 1: Don’t take it away, don’t miss it, never. (5)

How did things come to be like this?

Is it a daily life that has to collapse like this just because I made one wrong choice?

because of me,

Because of the decision I made,

Because of the person I met by chance,

Because of the footsteps I have walked in this world,

Because of the feelings I had

Was all this supposed to happen?

Because I simply fell in love with this white-haired rabbit,

Because I felt sorry for her and embraced her,

Because I allowed her to lose her mind for a moment,

Did these things have to happen?

“Time to choose, Mr. Marcus.”

I glanced briefly at the gray-haired cat who was staring at me with half-closed eyes, then,

I bite my lower lip at the tenacity and fear that I feel outside my field of vision and return my mind to Mr. Ellie…

was it stolen,

I gave it to you,

Did you allow

Did you give up

Have you given up on it now?

In an overwhelming sense of helplessness,

to the difference in strength,

difference in power,

difference in will,

Did he just decide to give in to her?

Even though it was a fact I had to admit, I kept wanting to hesitate, escape, run away.

I wanted to be free from this situation itself.

I didn’t know that the fact that I was embracing someone would come back so cruel.

I just wanted to get out of obsession,

I just wanted a softer, more free relationship,

The more I struggled, the more I was being sucked into a deeper pit.

After stepping down the rabbit hole,

It was as if I was sinking into a deep hole again and again, without finding a way out.

Wandering in the dark, running hard to get away from the red-eyed rabbit,

At some point, at the end of the road, there was always a rabbit sitting quietly with its ears pricked up.

Previously, the rabbit came to me kindly, softly, jumping over me,

He waggled his short tail into his arms, craving my warmth, asking me to pet him…

Apparently, the kind rabbit’s patience had run out.

“Is it me or this cat, is it… time to choose?”

The rabbit, which was just a little big and cute looking, straightened its fur,

With his teeth sharpened, he grunted at me while holding the cat by the scruff of its neck.

Holding a sharp knife, breathing heavily through messed up hair –

“Collock, Cough, Cough!”

Shaking the hand holding the knife anxiously, and even coughing loudly.

She came to me without hesitation, far more candid than before.

As if to let me know that the leading figure until now was too gentle.

She forced me to make a choice with harsh, certain, clear words.

“Tell me right now. It’s me or this b*tch. Tell me.”

With only the corner of the mouth wide open,

With eyes filled with anger, hatred, and endless obsession,

As if taking out the heart that is turning dark red and showing it in front of me,

She slowly brought the gleaming blade to Felter’s neck.

“Come on, if there’s no answer, I’ll put an end to this story on my own.”

With trembling hands, with trembling eyes,

Because she was more honest than ever,

Maybe because she was unadorned –

Even the fear she felt was openly showing.

“I need your choice.

I wish I could convince you that you love me.

Even in this situation,

Even at this moment when I showed all of myself, even the ugly end,

if you choose me,

You will only look at me, you will only love me,

If you choose me even now, knowing all that I’ve done,

In my future life, in the future I will build with you,

I can live with confidence in the future I envision.

No, not just sure.

It’s my life itself.

From the moment I met you and was saved by you, I never thought of life without you.

Your choice is more important to me than any other moment.

Will my life end here, or will ours be dyed in rosy colors.

Because I bet it all on you.”

heavy.

It’s like putting several weights on your chest and hanging them in the air.

Unable to pull my heart down, I feel as if I am stretching it up and down and trying to tear it, and I grab my chest.

Breathing quickens, vision darkens.

“Heh, heh, heh…”

“Breathe. Slow down. It’s okay. Nothing will happen.

It’s just making a choice.

me or her

It’s a very simple choice.

In an instant, in an instant, everything will end.

Calm down.

It won’t be that painful.

Whichever you choose, there will be no pain.

Me too… If there is any pain I must feel at the end of my life,

I want it to be very short and simple.

There’s nothing more terrifying than seeing someone you love scream and howl.

Yes?”

As if whispering in my ear, each word with a trembling mouth,

Anticipation and despair on her face as she spits out in fear.

All of them mixed together, leaving a completely ruined smile.

“I know it’s unforgivable.

Maybe it’s because I’ve already thought about how this conversation will end, countless times,

The pain that broke my heart had already been experienced countless times in my head, in the bed I was sitting alone on.

Because I’ve imagined that scene countless times when you were with this… cat, whenever you weren’t around.

Ha, ha… turn it off… heh…

You can’t cry yet, can you?

Your choice hasn’t been made yet, even though you haven’t made your choice yet,

I can’t shake…”

With a clang, the knife hit the stone floor.

At the same time, Pelter was also able to put both hands on the floor and breathe.

“Ke-ke-hek-“

But I didn’t care about her.

The rabbit was howling.

I was kneeling on the ground, holding my hands and praying.

“Please, please, please, Mr. Marcus, please, please, can’t you choose me?

I, I can give you everything!

your dark, ugly desires,

The numerous dirty gazes scrutinizing my body were embarrassing, but

As much as you, even if you look at me with those eyes, it’s okay if you look at me expecting the pleasure my body will bring.

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Rather, I want it.

Please love me. Save me, tell me you’ll only look at me, please

I’m already someone who can’t be without you, but I already think that your life is mine.

I’d rather not have a choice, a choice.

As if that woman didn’t exist, as if all of this hadn’t happened,

Can’t we go back to our relationship like that?

Have we already come too far for that?

Please, please, don’t look at me with those eyes.

Can you please return to me with those kind eyes that looked forward to the pleasure you would get from me, and that kind eyes that accepted my insistence?

I am afraid of you It hurts that you, who took everything from me, has changed like this.

Since when have I been doing something wrong? Did our relationship have to be so twisted that your relationship with mine was so different?”

Her hands were slowly cooling.

My ears trembled, and soon it went out.

The power drained from her hands.

“…I’m sorry. I wouldn’t even be chosen in the first place.

I will stop denying what I already know.

In the first place, if I wanted to be loved… I might have had to become like her.

It’s forced, right? Yes?

I already don’t have your heart… that… uh… ugh…”

Her shoulders were giving way.

Her eyes had long since lost their light.

“Stop… I want to end it. Stop giving you such a nuisance and giving you such pain.”

She picked up a knife that had fallen randomly on the floor.

At the end of despair, standing on the cliff, she struggled in pain, but soon calmed down.

With a face without trembling or hesitation,

He seemed to be smiling.

In that moment, I noticed.

the thoughts she has

what she made up her mind

what that smile means.

So I ran to her.

I hugged her and held her with all my might so that she wouldn’t do anything else.

So that the hand holding the knife does not point at you,

to keep all this from collapsing.

In order to protect what was left, I threw down my body.

And, before she threw the desires tied to her body down the cliff and fell herself into the abyss,

threw mine away

I gave up on the future I wanted,

Her greed, her future.

devoted myself to it

“Already, already made a choice.

You’ve already done it, so stop it.

please stop,

Stop… stop now…”

A choice that should have been made a long time ago.

Something I should have done since I had already decided to accept her.

And for her white hair who had to go this far,

For the cat I brought in, lying down and trembling with fear,

And always delaying, turning, avoiding the choice,

I decided not to run away from the price given to me for being irresponsible.

“I’ll do what you say. You won.

I will no longer run away, deny my heart, ignore your heart, or go against your will.

So, stop… stop…”

I heard the sound of the last sense of resistance that was filled in my head, even the last bit of millet remaining, collapsing, and I knelt down in front of her and buried my head in her arms.

I feel her hands slowly embracing me, and her tears wet the top of my head.

I just closed my eyes.

this is correct

this is what got it right

To admit to being on her leash, confined to her burrow.

Was it that hard to accept this simple fact?

…will no longer run away or refuse.