Hyeonjilmusin - Chapter 167



Only Krnovel

167. Me, Mokhwiyeong (4)

I went back to the guest house and sat down cross-legged. Since the Supreme Master had given me a clue, I thought I would look back at myself. Of course, I didn’t know where to look first, but I thought that if I sat down, I would think about it.

“Confucius the Silent One!”

But someone came looking for me. There was only one person here who came looking for me.

“Come in.”

Peng Chae-hyang, who had been dragging the Taesang family, opened the door. Her breathing was rough as if she had run in, and her face was flushed.

“Why again?”

I asked. Today was already my second visit. Peng Chae-hyang took a deep breath and then said.

“Did your grandfather say something strange?”

“Did you come all this way to ask that?”

“yes.”

I chuckled at Peng Chae-hyang’s serious face.

“We didn’t talk much.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Speaking of enlightenment? Oh, I should express my gratitude to the Supreme Lord. Please tell him I thanked him. I found some clues to enlightenment.”

“My grandfather doesn’t talk much about martial arts with me. Instead, he just talks about useless things.”

“Is that nonsense?”

“When will I meet a man like this… .”

Peng Chae-hyang said with a blush on her face, as if embarrassed.

So I guess that’s why Taesanggaju said something strange and Peng Chae-hyang was on guard. Actually, Taesanggaju kept asking me if I saw Peng Chae-hyang as a woman. I’m not interested though.

“Don’t worry, I never said anything like that.”

“Then that’s good.”

While we were talking, the file that Paeng Chae-hyang was holding caught my eye again. It’s not right to look at someone else’s stuff, but I can’t help it if it catches my eye. I had just taken Taesanggaju away, so I couldn’t see the contents, but now I see them.

What Paeng Chae-hyang was holding was a ledger that seemed like it would be used at the top. I gestured to the folder she was holding.

“Is it a family matter?”

“Oh, this? Yes. I’m dying from exhaustion. It’s our temple business, and I don’t even know what to do.”

Paeng Chae-hyang was upset. She wanted to fight in return for helping her, but reciprocity is not something that can be given and received one-on-one. Since she had a good relationship with Paeng Chae-hyang, she said that it was not bad, and that she wanted to repay the favor for helping her.

“Can I take a look for you?”

“Huh? Can you take a look?”

I laughed in vain. It seemed that Peng Chae-hyang still thought I was an unmanned person. Of course, there were many people among the upper class who did not directly do upper class work. She probably thought of me that way too.

“Oh, really. Give it to me.”

It was when I told Peng Chae-hyang that my specialty was not the sword, but the brush.

After roughly looking through everything, I looked at Peng Chae-hyang and said.

“It doesn’t seem like a difficult task.”

“Oh my. You speak as if you are familiar with it.”

“Because I’m used to it.”

The content was really nothing special. The pavilion with Peng Chae-hyang as a footnote was called Cheolwon-gak (鐵原閣), and it was a fairly important pavilion that was in charge of the military affairs of Habuk Pengga.

And the documents contained information on the current status of weapons and armor that Cheolwon-gak currently possessed.

“You can just go to the warehouse and check the quantity. You can depreciate or scrap the old ones.”

“… … I did everything.”

“I did everything, but what?”

“I’m not sure if I’m right… … .”

Paeng Chae-hyang lowered her voice. I clicked my tongue. It was a basic task at the top, but I thought it might be quite difficult for the unmanned.

“Where is the materials warehouse?”

“It’s inside the palace.”

“Let’s go together. I’ll look after it for you.”

“Really?”

Peng Chae-hyang’s eyes sparkled. She grabbed my hands with both of hers, but then jumped back in surprise at her own actions.

“You’re acting entirely alone.”

When I smiled bitterly, Peng Chae-hyang’s face turned red.

“Let’s go.”

I got up from my seat. Reflecting on the past was something I could do at any time. But offering help wasn’t something I could do at any time.

We left the guest house and headed straight to Cheolwon-gak. On the way to Cheolwon-gak, Paeng Chae-hyang asked with a suspicious look.

“You really know how to see, right?”

“Have you been living a life of deception?”

“This is something I really can’t afford to make a mistake on. It’s really important to me.”

Peng Chae-hyang spoke in an anxious voice, but I couldn’t quite understand it.

Looking at the contents, it was a document that could have been easily revised even if there were mistakes.

I don’t know if Peng Chae-hyang was a timid and insecure person, but in my opinion, she wasn’t that kind of person.

“Who will scold you for not being able to do this?”

“… … .”

I was just saying that, but Paeng Chae-hyang kept her mouth shut. It seemed like she was backing away and catching a rat. It meant that there was someone who was scolding her.

“That’s strange. Who would scold the girl of Pengga?”

“Who would be upset?”

Peng Chae-hyang sighed.

“It’s the master.”

“Master? Father?”

“yes.”

It wasn’t even a public setting, and even in this kind of setting, he called his father “Master,” so it seemed like they weren’t that close. He didn’t seem that formal with his grandfather, which was quite unexpected.

“I guess your father is a bit strict.”

“That’s right, well. But it’s only natural, since they are one of the five great martial arts masters.”

Peng Chae-hyang spoke in a hoarse voice.

“I’ve never been hungry, and I’ve enjoyed things that others can’t, like good elixirs and unrivaled martial arts.”

“That’s true.”

“That’s right. I shouldn’t whine. I have to do my job properly. I’m over twenty.”

Peng Chae-hyang clenched both her fists. Still, her eyes were filled with a mixture of desperation and fear. She was currently hypnotizing herself.

To me, it seemed very sad. I was not raised in a wealthy family, but as someone who has risen to the ranks of a merchant, I have seen many people from prestigious families.

Meeting them has taught me that the extent to which we feel mental pain is determined by our innate nature rather than our environment.

Of course, if the environment is bad, there is a higher probability of feeling pain. The point is whether you are pessimistic or positive about your current situation, and if the environment is bad, there is a higher probability of being pessimistic.

When I was young, I was poor because I didn’t have money, and I suffered because of that. So I thought that if I had money, all this suffering would disappear. But when I actually had money, I suffered because I was afraid that the money would disappear. I was a pessimistic person, so I suffered in any situation.

What about someone like Peng Chae-hyang, who was born into a wealthy family from the beginning? She may not have suffered because of money, but she may have suffered from achievements and parental expectations.

When the mental pain becomes so extreme that it is unbearable, they take their own lives. I have seen many people like that. Some of those who committed suicide were people who, to others, seemed to have no reason to die.

“Miss Peng.”

“yes?”

“Even if you grow up in a good family, it doesn’t mean that things don’t get any harder. Everyone has their own set of difficulties.”

“I hear that a lot.”

“is it so?”

“Yes. My friends often say things like that. Usually, it’s the guys who come from good families and just play around that say things like that.”

“……hmm.”

My words could be misused like that. My words should actually be applied to people who live fiercely like Peng Chae-hyang, but the gangsters use those words to defend themselves. I knew that too, so I had nothing to say.

“I don’t want to be that kind of person. I want to be an upright person who lives up to my family’s expectations.”

“I see. From what I can see, Lady Peng is doing well. How many review indexes have you already got with a nickname?”

“Fortunately, I have some achievements in martial arts, but I have no achievements in ruling the family. That’s what worries me.”

“Because one person can’t be good at everything.”

“The head of the Habuk Pang family said that he had to be good at everything.”

“Even the lord of that house isn’t good at everything.”

“Don’t you know my father? He is the world’s three greatest swordsman, Peng Jingsheng. Not only is he a master of martial arts, but the Hebei Peng family is now the wealthiest in history. He is good at everything.”

“Family management and martial arts aren’t everything. I haven’t met him in person, but I think there’s one thing he can’t do.”

“Are you gossiping about my father right now?”

“yes.”

Paeng Chae-hyang was speechless at my confident answer. Whether I was one of the three greatest Taoist monks in the world, a Taoist monk, or the head of the Habuk Peng family, none of that mattered to me. I could tell at a glance that I was incompetent.

“Then what can’t you do?”

Peng Chae-hyang spoke with a slightly angry voice. It seemed that she was not happy to hear her respected father gossiping. However, I was only telling the truth.

“Children’s education.”

“……yes?”

“You shouldn’t educate your children that way. Education is about encouraging them to do better in what they are good at and comforting them in what they are not good at until they do it well. Forcing and projecting your own thoughts onto your children like that is wrong education.”

Peng Chae-hyang closed her mouth. I smiled bitterly. Looking at her expression, it seemed like she wasn’t convinced.

“That’s my opinion. I don’t plan on forcing anything on Lady Pang.”

“is it so.”

“What I just said could be wrong, or it could be right, but I will tell you what is right no matter what.”

“What is it?”

“Don’t die. Living is better than dying.”

I was being serious, but Pang Chae-hyang just laughed.

“What is that? Do I look like I’m going to die?”

“It doesn’t look like it.”

“Oh, that’s funny.”

Paeng Chae-hyang’s hardened face softened. I wasn’t joking, but she took it as a joke. I liked that. If she took it seriously, it meant she really intended to die.

“Anyway, thank you. But I’ll pretend I didn’t hear any badmouthing about my father. You said that out of consideration for me.”

“is it so.”

Thinking the conversation was over, I looked at the documents that Paeng Chae-hyang had given me again. In fact, the content was so simple that I didn’t need to look at them again. Since Paeng Chae-hyang was overly anxious, I just pretended to look at them again.

“Did Confucius grow up in a pretty good family?”

But Peng Chae-hyang had no intention of ending the conversation. I was taken aback by the unexpected content.

“Why do you think so?”

“Because I was talking about something my friends would say. I’m not saying that Confucius said that, but I think that the saying that everyone has their own difficulties is something that rich people usually say when they say that they are having a hard time too.”

“I say that because it’s really hard. And you’re wrong. I didn’t grow up in a very good family.”

“Lies. How can you do that when you’re a non-partisan disciple and already have the upper hand?”

Paeng Chae-hyang had reason to think that I was from a prestigious family. Of course, at this age, having a top position was usually impossible for anyone but the wealthy. But I was no ordinary person.

“I accomplished it all.”

“Without any help from your parents?”

“yes.”

“Usually, if you ask this question, the answer you’ll get is, ‘Your parents raised you well.’”

“It’s not that my parents raised me well, it’s that I grew up well.”

Peng Chae-hyang laughed. This was also something I was serious about, but she seemed to think it was a joke.

“This is too much.”

“It can’t be helped, even if it’s too much. It’s the truth.”

“I thought that Confucius Mok was from a really noble family. The way he spoke and carried himself was leisurely. Usually, people born into poor families are not leisurely.”

“That’s true. I didn’t have much free time at first either.”

It was only after I became a top player that I became more relaxed. In fact, I became more relaxed because I lived life twice.

“I wonder about Confucius Mo’s past. What kind of life did he live?”

“Shall I tell you?”

“Is that okay? It’s a personal matter. We’re not that close… … .”

Paeng Chae-hyang looked at me. Of course, she seemed curious about my past. I thought I had nothing to hide, so I was able to tell her.

“Rather, it’s because we don’t have a deep relationship that we can talk comfortably.”

“Then tell me. It takes a while to walk to Cheorwon Pavilion.”

“The garden is quite large.”

It takes a moment to move around the house. Well, it seems like it took about that long to walk from one end to the other of the Whiyoungdan I had earned in my previous life.

“Where should I start… … .”

I opened my mouth. Somehow, I ended up going back to my dorm and reflecting on the past with Peng Chae-hyang.