I Thought It Was a Fairy Tale but the Genre Is Strange - Chapter 52



Episode 51 – Hansel and Gretel (5)

“Eek!”

“Heeek!”

Adele and I screamed simultaneously, scrambling backward. *Thump!* Hansel’s massive bulk slammed down where we’d just been, leaving a perfect imprint of his pot-belly shape on the spot.

“Heheheck! Lunch, lunch! Delicious lunch!”

Hansel casually lifted his heavy body, and crumbs of sweets showered down. He stared at the candies stuck to his belly, then shook his head violently as if in pain, brushing the crumbs away with his thick hands.

“No! I can’t eat them! The Witch said I can’t!”

Wait, his condition is way worse than before? What happened in that room to make him this messed up? And is it just me, or does he seem significantly bigger? His head is almost touching the ceiling.

Hansel’s glazed eyes refocused on us.

“Haaack! Wh-where are you staring with those two wide eyes!”

Adele barked at Hansel from behind me. I gave her an incredulous look.

Say that to his face, not from behind me.

“Alright, it’s your turn to shine, Shiyu! Take him down!”

“……Are you acting like that even though you’re an adult?”

“Hehe, lunch! Sounds delicious! I’m so hungry I can’t take it anymore!”

Here he comes! Hansel, with arms spread wide, charged forward, simple as that. His very presence radiated no fear, but the sight of his gaping maw, a clear declaration of his intent to cram us into his mouth and crunch us down, sent shivers down my spine.

But, his attack was simply slow and clumsy. Fueled by excitement, Hansel was a mess of openings. I didn’t miss the chance, swinging my sickle while simultaneously dodging to the side.

*Thud!* Just like before, the spot we’d been occupying was crushed to pieces.

“Hyaah! Hey, what do you think you’re doing, leaving me behind!”

Adele was still plastered to my back. Ugh, this guy is such a nuisance. He’s so close it’s hindering my movement.

“Ugh, please back off a little.”

“W-what if I get eaten! Look at that glutton, he’ll rip my belly open with his teeth and slurp out my guts!”

Hah, he’s even more of a coward than I was when I first arrived in this world.

“aaagh! It hurts, it hurts!”

My attack connected. Hansel isn’t armored. With no thick armor or dangerous weapons, he was just bare skin, easily sliced by the sickle. His side was turning crimson. I’d swung with all my strength, but the motion was too large and the cut a little shallow.

Plus, his fat layer was way too thick to inflict major damage.

“It hurts, it hurts! It hurts so bad!”

Hansel clutched his side, screaming. I hadn’t imagined he’d be this pained by a single cut. Come to think of it, Hansel isn’t a witch. He can’t use magic, he’s just a big, slightly strong human.

“Puhahaha! That dimwit! He got hit just once and he’s all over the place!”

Adele, from behind me, was cackling triumphantly, patting my shoulder.

“You did great, Siyu! Finish him off right now!”

“Ugh, it’s easy for you to say from behind me.”

Easy for him to say. ‘Finish him off.’ That’s a terrifying thing to hear. I’ve only actually killed two beings. The wolves when I met the baby pigs. The wolf pack was dangerous, and they weren’t human-shaped, so I could sort of justify it. Other than that, I haven’t killed anyone. Nor did I ever want to.

Killing a human, or an animal at the level of a human, is a gruesome thing. With Rapunzel, I knew they were people made of her hair, so I could attack without hesitation, but this was different.

This isn’t a wolf, it’s truly a human. Sure, he committed the horrific act of cannibalism, but killing him with my own hands is a different matter altogether.

The guilt of killing is too much for me to bear right now.

But I can’t just leave this cannibal be. So, I…

A cold blade lightly grazed Hansel’s leg.

“aaargh! My, my leg!!”

I decided to just subdue him. Hansel knelt on his injured leg, howling.

He seems to be in a state where even the smallest wound causes him intense pain. Just a bit more to attack and incapacitate him. But I don’t have much time because I don’t know when Gretel might show up. I need to finish this as quickly as possible.

“I’m hungry! I’m hungry, why does it hurt! Why does it hurt like this! I’m just hungry!”

While whimpering, I lunged, aiming to immobilize his other leg. Then I saw it. Not just a hunger-crazed obsession, but a simmering rage mixed in Hansel’s eyes. I vividly witnessed his pupils turning blood red, like a berserker.

“I’m hungry! I’ll eat everything! I’ll chew, tear, rip, and suck everything dry—leaving nothing!”

The sheer force of his roar nearly shattered my eardrums. While I was hesitating, an agitated Hansel charged with a menacing red gleam in his eyes. Not only his pupils but his entire body had turned red, and steam was rising from him.

This is dangerous!

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I tried to quickly dodge to the side but Hansel was faster than I thought, and I ended up taking the hit.

“Krrack!”

I felt myself float into the air, before smashing into the wall, sending a jolt of stinging pain through my entire body.

“Watch out!”

Adel’s urgent shout barely registered in my blurry vision, I instinctively rolled aside. A shower of cookie crumbs pelted my face. When I regained my senses and backed away, I saw Hansel’s fist planted where I had been. If I had been a second slower I would have been crushed.

“uuugh! Hungry! Hungry! Hungry!!!”

Foaming at the mouth, he immediately charged again. But he was still wide open. I ducked under his thick hand and at the same time, lightly slashed his other thigh.

A crimson spray shot up, splattering the floor. Though bleeding, Hansel casually shifted, swinging an arm at me.

*Tch*, could he not feel any pain?

Things had gotten more complicated than I thought. If I didn’t do this right, I’d be the one getting taken down first. I swallowed hard. If push came to shove, I might have to actually kill him.

But could I?

“Uaaahhh!!! Come into my mouth!”

Hansel’s jaw unhinged, his mouth opening so wide I thought it would snap. Then he snapped his teeth shut toward my face. *Hwah*! I dodged by a hair’s breadth, that was close! If I had been a fraction slower, half my face would have been torn clean off.

Trying hard to stay calm, I swiped my scythe, avoiding his fleshy, flailing attacks. With each passing moment, Hansel gained more minor wounds, but his aggression showed no signs of letting up.

I had to find a way. A way to subdue Hansel. Thankfully, Gretel hadn’t come running at the commotion; she must have gone out. I had to resolve this quickly.

My eyes darted around the room. Adele, shivering in the corner, cheering me on, miscellaneous pieces of furniture, and the hatch down to the cellar.

Wait, that’s it!

“Huh?”

As the idea struck me, my body stumbled. I lost my footing and fell backward. It was the result of stepping in a hole Hansel had made when he was rampaging earlier.

Damn it!

Hansel grinned, seeing me defenseless, and opened his revolting maw. Drool dripped from the thick, lurking tongue within.

“I’ll eat well!”

Shit, was this the anticlimactic end? No, it couldn’t end here. I promised Rapunzel, didn’t I? That I would absolutely create a happy ending!

I clenched my teeth, preparing to slash at his throat with my scythe even as I was falling.

“Hmm!?”

Then, something unexpectedly went into Hansel’s mouth. Not my scythe, not my head. It was a familiar, square object. Adele’s shoe, giving off a sweet aroma.

“Hehehe, delicious.”

A candy stuck to his shoe entered his mouth, and Hansel crunched the shoe-candy, chomping away. His aggression was significantly reduced, and he was no longer focused on me, just busy savoring the taste of the candy. I landed on my rear with a thump, but quickly got back on my feet.

“Hahaha! How’s that! Isn’t my, Adele’s, sense incredible!”

Adele grinned, holding the remaining shoe in her hand. Nice timing! I gave Adele a thumbs up.

“Mmm, sweet, tasty, *munch munch*. You want some. You look tasty!”

Hansel, having finished the candy in an instant, smacked his lips and then stared at Adele, not me. Adele, startled, yelled at Hansel who had declared he would eat her.

“W-what, what are you saying you crazy monster! You think I’d let you eat me!”

“I’ll eat you!!!”

Hansel screamed and lunged at Adele. I snatched Adele’s wrist from the corner, pulling her away just before Hansel could grab her. Hansel hit his head on the spot where Adele had been, and, seemingly heated up again, he emitted an even more intense steam from his body than before.

“Don’t run away! I’m going to eat you!”

“Hua! I-I thought I was going to die! I’d rather eat a poison apple than be eaten by you!”

“Adele.”

“Huh?”

I smiled and moved Adele aside. Adele looked at me, puzzled, and asked,

“What are you doing all of a sudden?”

“Just stand there for a moment.”

“J-just a moment? Can’t you see that savage cannibal is running towards us?!”

Hansel, eyes blazing, stomach jiggling, was barreling towards Adele.

“Just wait a little bit.”

“N-no! No way! If I stay still, I’ll get eaten!”

I held onto Adele, preventing her from escaping. Adele’s face had turned pale. She screamed loud enough to burst my eardrums.

“Let go of me!!! If you’re crazy, be crazy by yourself! You’re planning to feed me to that monster! You vile b*stard! Ah, no! I misspoke! Please, I’m begging you, just let go of this!!! Please!!!”

“Not yet. Just a little bit more.”

I said, staring straight into Hansel’s eyes as he charged like a wild boar. Adele looked like she was about to faint. I had to be sure.

Just a little more. Just a little closer.

Hansel’s hoof-like hand was a hair’s breadth away from grabbing Adele’s head.