I Was Reincarnated as a Villainous Noble Who Gets Killed Midway Through the Story but It Looks Like I’ll Be Executed as a Traitor if I Try to Do Good Deeds - Chapter 100



100: The Heart That Should Be Hidden!

Being feared is scary. To be precise, being feared by those close to me is. I can endure it if it’s from strangers, but if the royal sisters, school friends, brothers, or other acquaintances feared me, I wouldn’t be able to bear it.

That being said, I couldn’t stop trying to become stronger just because I was scared. If I was weak, I wouldn’t be able to protect those close to me, and that would be unbearable. Being feared is nothing compared to that.

I had decided to continue my efforts, and I was already taking action. But there were moments when fear crept into my heart. When would I be able to shake off this fear?

I felt like I was walking towards an unknown darkness. Was the direction I was heading in correct? I had my doubts. But I couldn’t stop moving forward. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to do anything.

I would do anything to protect everyone. I had sworn to do so. I would kill, I would be feared, and I would absolutely crush any threats. That was the meaning of my existence.

I was reborn into this world to support everyone. I believed that, and I looked forward. That was enough.

But the darkness in my heart wouldn’t disappear. I could only believe that time would solve it. I had many responsibilities, after all. My role wasn’t something that could be stopped by small things.

So, I continued my training alone. Then, someone approached me with an atmosphere of concern.

“Rex, is something wrong? You seem different. You can tell me anything, okay?”

Selphi had an image of being a reliable senior that everyone trusted. So, I didn’t think she would waste her time on me. But it was true that I was suffering, and I had worried her.

It seemed I was really bad at acting. This was suspicious, even to my father. If I wasn’t deceiving him, why wasn’t I killed?

But I couldn’t talk to Selphi about my troubles. It would be like saying that I was scared of being feared by everyone, which was a sign of distrust.

“You’re still an idiot, aren’t you? If you think you can do everything alone, you’re mistaken.”

Camilla was also by my side, so I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t even act.

“I don’t have any problems. It’s just that the others are okay, right? If you look for people who are suffering, you’ll find plenty.”

That was true, wasn’t it? It wasn’t just me who was unhappy. I had people close to me, like Lina, Julia, Stell, and Rana.

Everyone had been abandoned or mistreated by someone. When I thought about that, being feared seemed like a small worry.

“It’s pathetic, but I’m worried about people who don’t study and can’t do anything.”

“It’s only natural. If you help someone who can’t stand on their own, they won’t be grateful.”

If that happened, even Selphi would be troubled. I didn’t like it when people treated kindness with contempt. That being said, I didn’t think there were many people who were truly happy. When I thought about it, my actions didn’t seem very admirable either.

“It’s not like I’m seeking gratitude or anything. But it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Hmph, it’s a pointless act of hypocrisy. No one needs your help anyway.”

“That might be true. But my desire to help Rex is genuine.”

I was sure that Selphi was speaking from her heart. That’s why I wanted to say something, but it could be hurtful or troublesome. It was a difficult problem.

“So, I won’t say anything.”

“Those words are proof that you’re troubled. So, I’m always here for you.”

“…Yeah, I know. Idiot brother, don’t take on too much. You’re part of my family, after all.”

Even Camilla was precious to me, so I wanted to protect her absolutely. I didn’t want to be hated or feared. Especially since Camilla had feared me for a moment, even if it was brief.

Even if I knew that she had overcome that fear, I couldn’t help but imagine the worst. Camilla’s words, that I didn’t trust anyone, might be true after all.

“If you don’t trust me, then it’s fine with someone else. Like Camilla-san, for instance. What’s important is that Rex-kun recovers his energy.”

“Felicia might be a good choice, don’t you think? She’s the type who would unexpectedly take good care of you.”

“It doesn’t matter who it is, just don’t struggle alone. You have allies here and elsewhere, so don’t worry.”

He’s really a kind person. I almost felt like relying on him. But I won’t be able to stand on my own two feet if I do. From now on, I’ll have to make many decisions, after all.

At the very least, the moment will come when I’ll have to cut ties with the Black family. When that time comes, who will I choose? I’m hesitant, but I have to make my own decision. Whether to confront Camilla, Mary, and Jean…

If I leave that judgment to someone else, I’ll cease to be human. I’ll definitely rely on someone who spoils me, and that’s something even I can understand.

“I’m not struggling, I’m just overthinking. You’re right, Selfi.”

“If that’s your true intention, then that’s fine. It’s proof that Rex-kun is energetic.”

“This idiot doesn’t trust us, does he? Well, Selfi is a given, but what about me too?”

“My sister believes in me. That’s something I want you to understand.”

What kind of words am I saying? It slipped out, but my sister… Selfi doesn’t believe in me, does she? And that’s not something I can say. I’m afraid of being feared by Camilla.

“I’ve only just met you, so take your time to trust me. And understand that I’m an ally from the heart.”

“Selfi’s guy is definitely honest. It’s a bit unsettling.”

“Do as you like. Whatever you do, I won’t change.”

That’s not my true intention. I’ll definitely get hurt if I’m hated, and I’ll lament if I’m abandoned. I know that, and yet I’m saying this, so maybe I’m already relying on someone.

“Yeah, I’ll do as I like. You believe that I don’t think you’re a nuisance, don’t you?”

“This foolish younger brother doesn’t think he’s being straightforward, does he?”

“I agree. Rex-kun is the type to hide his true intentions. You can see it if you look.”

Without a doubt, that’s correct. There are circumstances where I can’t speak my true intentions, but even so. In the end, I’m relying too much on someone else. I want to have more power to live on my own. I want to have a strong heart.

I’m the strongest, after all, so being helped by someone else is a huge problem. I should be the one helping everyone.

“You’re speaking like you know everything. Well, I’ve said it once. Do as you like.”

“Yeah. Hey, if you feel like relying on someone, call me anytime. I want to support you. That feeling is genuine.”

From noble mtl dot com

If I were to rely on those words, how relieved would I be? The temptation that came to mind was extremely alluring.