Invitation to the Chatroom of the Gods - Chapter 2



Only Krnovel

Episode 2 – Strange Letter (1)

Knock knock.

Suddenly, I came to my senses as I felt something peck my leg.

Let’s look down.

The eagle was pecking at me as if telling me to come to my senses quickly.

“uh···.”

Only by making a stupid sound did the hawk stop its pecks.

However, he was still watching my actions, nodding his head.

···It seems that the spirit is a spirit.

I pulled myself together and looked at the contents of the scroll again.

“The chatroom of the immortals···?”

I swear, this is the first time I’ve heard of it.

Still, I could understand the meaning a little.

A room where the gods gather and chat.

···I think I can understand it to that extent.

So this is the text written in the temple now.

【Open chatroom that is currently open】

『The Tao Te Ching as told directly by the Supreme Lord Laojun』

『Cheon-dun-geom-beop (Heavenly Sword Technique), Yeo Dong-bin’s Martial Arts Discussion Room』

『Everything about the Tathagata Body Taught by Sakyamuni』

“If you learn from Dharma, you too will become indestructible!”

『Questions and Answers from Confucius: What is benevolence?』

“···What the hell are you talking about?”

I just can’t understand it.

No, isn’t it true that even dog whining needs to have a limit before it can be called dog whining?

At this point, it can’t even be called bullshit.

“Taishang Laojun, Sakyamuni, Lu Dongbin, Dharma, Confucius···.”

These are people who can all be called fresh.

If they are who I know.

To be exact, there were Buddhas and saints who were not gods, but anyway.

“Wasn’t Taishang Laojun the highest immortal of Taoism?”

I didn’t know that much about Taoism.

However, if you are a martial artist who has mastered martial arts, you cannot help but learn about Taoism.

This was because most martial arts were based on the teachings of Taoism and Buddhism.

Didn’t the Dantian (丹田), the organ in the human body that builds internal energy, develop based on the Taoist technique of Seondan?

You can tell just by looking at the ten martial arts groups that currently rule the world, the Nine-Tailed Factions.

Among the ten sects belonging to this Gupaebang, as many as six are Taoist sects.

So, if you learn martial arts, you can’t help but learn about Taoism in some way.

And I also learned martial arts.

I knew a little bit about Taoism.

“If it’s Taesang Laojun, then he must be a god from the Three Qings.”

The three immortals of Samcheong (三淸), who are called Cheonjon (天尊) in Taoism.

Wonwoncheonjon (元始天尊), Okcheong (玉淸).

Yeongbocheonjon (Spiritual Treasure Heavenly Deity), Sangcheong (Supreme Pure One).

Taesangnogun (太上老君), Taicheong (太淸).

Taesang Laojun is one of the three immortals of the Three Pure Ones and the founder of Taoism.

The roots of Taoism began with this very same Supreme Being.

Therefore, it is called 『The Tao Te Ching personally told by the Supreme Master Laojun』.

“Is it true that the Supreme Master himself will teach us the Way?”

···I wondered if this was right.

Of course, it’s crazy. Of course, it’s crazy, but I didn’t believe it.

It would be accurate to say that it is unbelievable.

“What is this folding chair?”

A scroll with a letter tied to the leg of a hawk.

When I untied the string and unfolded the scroll, there was nothing written on it.

Unlike the letter, it was just a blank piece of paper.

“···Who played this prank?”

It seemed like someone was playing a prank.

It was just then that I was about to fold the folding chair.

Swish.

Suddenly, letters were engraved on the scroll.

I speak for myself.

-Would you like to participate in the open discussion, 『The Tao Te Ching told directly by the Great Master Laojun』?

※Yes/No

“What is this···?”

Are you saying that this is a situation that doesn’t even make sense?

No, the scribbler came up with a new phrase on its own.

It was as if the stool understood what I was saying and responded.

So does that mean that the chair has its own will?

“no···.”

For the time being, I had nothing to say.

But aside from that, I was curious.

So, I’m curious as to whether…

Of course I know full well that it doesn’t make sense.

But didn’t a strange phenomenon just unfold right before your eyes?

That’s why I couldn’t help but have a thought that maybe it was possible.

“···How do I participate?”

A moment of thought.

I opened my mouth slowly.

“I participate.”

···There was no response.

It seems like it doesn’t respond to words.

“Should I press it with my finger?”

I lifted my index finger and pressed down on the character for ‘can’.

Then the scroll began to move again, and a new phrase suddenly came to mind.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: You son of a bitch, didn’t I teach you in the secular world that if you give me advice while playing baduk, I’ll break your balls? Huh?

···I suddenly felt like something was wrong.

First of all, I didn’t even know where to start.

So I started by discussing the most absurd and unique of them all.

“Jongli Kwon?”

The name of the divine emperor, Jongli Kwon.

If I remember correctly, Jongli Kwon was a freshman.

One of the famous Eight Immortals and the leader of the group.

In other words, he is the leader of the Eight Immortals.

“Why is Jongri Kwon suddenly appearing?”

Apart from the absurd sentiment, there was a portrait drawn next to the text.

A warm-hearted man with a plump body holding a banana fan.

It is exactly like the legendary Jongli Kwon.

Swish.

Soon, the scroll began to move again, and another phrase appeared beneath the one written by Jongli Kwon.

└[Sword Immortal Yeo Dong-bin]

: Isn’t it because the teacher is so frustrating?

···I was like, what is this?

“Yeo Dong-bin?”

Yeo Dongbin is also one of the eight immortals representing Taoism, the Eight Immortals.

He is also called the Sword Immortal because he is the immortal of the sword.

And Yeo Dong-bin’s teacher was none other than Jong Li-kwon.

Perhaps because of this, Yeo Dong-bin was considered the vice-chairman of the Eight Immortals.

Yeo Dong-bin’s portrait was of a respectable scholar carrying a precious sword on his back.

As expected, it was exactly like the legendary Yeo Dong-bin.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: What? Frustrated? Are you saying you feel frustrated just now when you see this teacher?

└[Sword Immortal Yeo Dong-bin]

: When you feel stuffy, you say you feel stuffy. Then what do you call it?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Ha! You’ve become a good person, but it looks like you’ve also lost your manners?

└[Sword Immortal Yeo Dong-bin]

: I have learned everything from observing and practicing under the teacher.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Yes, if I taught you wrong, I taught you badly. So today, I will teach you again from the beginning, starting from the Uhwadengseon. You son of a bitch.

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: Don’t be quiet, you guys!

Kwaaaa …

The words of the Great Elder Laozi suddenly came to mind, and an enormous energy burst out from within the scroll and swept over my face.

With that, I unconsciously shut my mouth tightly.

Cold sweat flowed down my back and waist.

…For some reason, I can’t move my body.

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: These two brats fight all the time and it’s a real pain.

A forehead that protrudes like a hump and curves down to the eyebrows.

A long, pure white beard that reaches down to below the waist.

Portrait of an old man holding a cane with a jewel like a Yeouiju hanging from it.

The supreme immortal of Taoism was Laozi, also known as the Supreme Elder Lord.

“······.”

But is this correct···?

As I stared blankly at the scroll, the scroll once again brought to mind new words.

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: Because of you guys, there’s never a day when the temple is quiet! Isn’t that why the Buddhists look down on our Taoism?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Senior, even if you are my senior, speak up straight. Why is it my fault?

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: I’m saying this because you lost to Dharma and the wall training competition last time.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: That also makes me feel wronged. Who would have thought that Dharma would practice cultivation without sleeping for nine hundred years?

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: When Dharma was in the secular world, he was a crazy monk who cut off his own eyelids so that he wouldn’t sleep! How can you say that you won by not sleeping, when it’s nothing else?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Did you know that I was like that? That’s because I didn’t know.

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: You’re bragging, you idiot. And if you’re going to have a training competition, do it nicely. Why are you gambling on immortal energy and falling down like that?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: It’s not like that because I knew I would win!

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: So you donated ten thousand years’ worth of merit? Do ten thousand years seem like a piece of shit to you?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Stop talking about that, senior! Just thinking about it makes me feel sick!

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: You’re bringing it up to make me sick. You idiot!

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: If you don’t want to start over from the beginning, senior, then you should close your mouth!

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: Hey, what a habit!

···I wasn’t in my right mind for a while.

Where has the nobility and class of the gods gone?

It was impossible to believe that this was a conversation between immortals.

No, are they even real in the first place?

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: The leader of the Eight Immortals is like this. Your disciple is also like this.

└[Sword Immortal Yeo Dong-bin]

: Why are you suddenly bringing this up when I’m just sitting still?

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: Why are you bringing it up, you idiot? You said you went to the Confucian scholars’ chatroom to discuss swordsmanship a while ago and came back with a swordsmanship lesson?

└[Sword Immortal Yeo Dong-bin]

: Those Confucian jerks who don’t know how to use their bodies keep scratching at me with their dirty tongues. So are you just going to put up with it?

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: So you’re going to use a sword? Is your Heavenly Sword Technique any ordinary sword technique?

Heavenly Sword Technique.

If the legendary Cheon-dun Sword Technique that I know of is true, then it was no ordinary sword technique.

A sword technique that cuts down giants and defeats countless demons.

Thus, it can be said that it was a peerless divine skill that made Yeo Dong-bin a sword immortal.

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: And don’t you know that those Confucian guys are just talking big? If the Eight Immortals can’t even control one of those worries… Aaah, tsk tsk.

└[Sword Immortal Yeo Dong-bin]

: That’s right! So, has Mr. Noh done anything good?

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: What did I do to deserve this?

└[Sword Immortal Yeo Dong-bin]

: I’m talking about the bet you made with Shakyamuni last time!

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: Hey you punk! That’s···!

└[Sword Immortal Yeo Dong-bin]

: Didn’t you, Jecheon Daeseong, make a bet to see who could catch that monkey baby first and get beaten by Sakyamuni?

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: What? Are you being rude? Who said you were rude? Shakyamuni, who knew that that rascal would bring Tripitaka with him?

└[Sword Immortal Yeo Dong-bin]

: Yes, yes, you must have done so well that you have donated a kalpa’s worth of merit.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Wow~ Is the stakes one kalpa? Jecheon Daeseong is a crazy monkey, but is the stakes one kalpa?

└[Sword Immortal Yeo Dong-bin]

: Sakyamuni said that he would only walk a small distance, like Nayuta. Senior No said that he would walk a long time, like kalpas.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: As expected, this is our Taesang Nogun senior, who is called the Heavenly Lord. Although he is in a different weight class from me, one of the Eight Immortals, he is still very different. He is very sweet.

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: Monk Tripitaka, that bastard found out the location of the Great Heavenly King through a long sword and told it to Shakyamuni! I didn’t know anything! I was scammed!

···I wonder if this is crazy.

“Am I really crazy?”

I wondered if it was none other than me who was crazy.

Otherwise, what kind of conversation is this?

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: But when these kids come and go, didn’t I clearly teach them that the highest good is like water?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Water benefits all things without fighting, and it does not hesitate to stay in places that everyone dislikes. Isn’t that what our great elder said, that the best virtue is like water?

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: Even flowing water has an up and down, you idiot with no brains and no mouth.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: If the upper water is rotten, how can the lower water be clear?

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: Does that mean I’m rotten water?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Who did we learn from? We learned from our great predecessor, the founder of Taoism.

└[Taishang Laojun (Great Elder Lord) Laozi]

: Oh yeah, you little brat, you spoke well. I will teach you again what the Way is today. There hasn’t been a gathering for nearly three thousand years, right? All the immortals in the Damsobang. Gather under me!

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Guys, our senior is going to give a sermon on the Tao for the first time in a while. Everyone, gather around.

@Jeonjinkyo @Mudangpa @Hwasanpa @Gonryunpa @Jeomchangpa @Jongnampa @Gongdongpa

“···huh?”

I tilted my head without realizing it.

None other than the strange symbol ‘@’ that appeared on the screen.

“What does it mean?”

I swear this is the first time I’ve seen it since my hair grew out.

However, the letters written behind that strange symbol.

“Those are the sects of the old file room?”

The ten martial arts groups that rule the world, the Nine Factions and One Gang.

Among those old files, each Taoist sect was written after the unusual symbol @.

“What does it mean?”

It was at that moment that I tilted my head again.

└[Auxiliary Emperor Wang Zhongyang]

: Wang Jung-yang of Jeonjin Church. We gathered after hearing the news.

└[Hyeonhyeonja (玄玄子) Jang Sam-bong]

: Shaman Jang Sam-bong. We have gathered.

└[Gwangyeongja (廣零子) abuse]

: The volcano’s abuse tank. Gathered.

└[Purple House Immortal Gwangseongja]

: Common photons. Gathered.

New names began to float up the steps of the scroll.

But those names are quite unusual.

Wang Zhongyang, founder of the Jeonjin Church.

Jang Sam-bong, a non-partisan sectarian investigation officer.

The volcano faction’s opening investigation, abuse of power.

The opening investigation of the common wave, Gwangseongja.

They are all respected immortals who are the founders of the Gupa Ilbang and the founders of Gaepa Ilbang.

The situation was that they had rushed to the gathering of the Taesangnogun.

└[Nine Heavenly Wise Women]

: Aah! Girl of Kunlun, you came late…!

“······.”

My baby couldn’t eat without going to the fable board.