Invitation to the Chatroom of the Gods - Chapter 31



Only Krnovel

Episode 31 – Why did Dharma go east?

A phrase that suddenly came to mind, saying that Dharma entered the temple.

I held my breath without realizing it because of the tension that suddenly came to mind.

└[Bodhidharma]

: How long has it been since you offered your merits, and now you want to make a bet on the answer to a Zen question?

Soon, the words of Dharma appeared above the scroll, and next to it was a portrait of Dharma.

Dharma had a constantly frowning expression. This was because both of his eyelids were cut off, and according to the story, he cut them himself in order to practice the practice of not ‘sleeping’.

Maybe that’s why he had the face of an extremely ugly ‘ugly man’.

But it is said that originally, Dharma was a peerless handsome man.

However, during a brief out-of-body experience during the practice, an unknown immortal from Kunlun Mountain was attracted to the handsome face of Bodhidharma, and so he took over Bodhidharma’s body, and was forced to live in the immortal’s body.

So, the face now was not that of ‘Dharma’, but that of an unknown ‘Immortal of Kunlun’.

Because of this, it is said that Dharma is not very fond of Taoist immortals.

Fortunately, thanks to the overflowing immortal energy of Dharma, he was able to look cool despite his ugly appearance······.

“That’s true.”

That was indeed true.

Although the Dharma in the portrait was extremely ugly, it was not so ugly that he could not look at it with his eyes open.

So I didn’t think it was terribly bad.

anyway.

└[Bodhidharma]

: I thought you were just a drunkard who drinks alcohol, but I guess you have so many merits from practicing. It’s obvious because you keep giving offerings to me.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Shut up, you rascal! Today is the day I’ll flatten that monster’s face.

└[Bodhidharma]

: If my face is a monster, aren’t you a pot-bellied bear?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: A bear is a hundred times better than a monster. Even our female immortals and nuns are terrified just by looking at your face. Wait a minute, is that why you became a monk? Did you decide to become a monk because you couldn’t meet a single woman in the secular world?

└[Bodhidharma]

: Controlling lust is a basic practice for a Buddha, but do you think the immortals only gather perverts who indulge in lust? Oh, of course you are an exception. Well… you are so big that you wouldn’t be able to let out your lust even if you wanted to.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: What the heck, you little shit? Did you see that? Did you see that, you little shit!

└[Bodhidharma]

: Even if you don’t see it with your eyes, you can know it with the ‘Law of Interest’.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: The law of interest is a piece of shit! You really need to get beaten up with a bamboo stick to come to your senses!

└[Bodhidharma]

: Come in anytime, we’re always ready.

Then, there was Dharma stretching out his palm forward, and from that Dharma, I felt a ‘heaviness’ like Mt. Taishan and a ‘solidity’ like a diamond.

It looks like that is the famous ‘Diamond Invincibility’.

But really······.

I’ve been feeling this way for a long time, but I wondered if this was really a conversation between an ‘immortal’ and a ‘Buddha’.

In this way, the bickering between Jongri Kwon and Dharma finally died down after about ‘1 day’.

└[Bodhidharma]

: Well, anyway. What are the conditions for the Seonmundap bet?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: The conditions are the same as before. If you are speechless while asking and answering each other, you lose. If I lose, I will give you 500 years of merit, and if you lose, you will give me the secret of the ‘Yeokgeunse Su-gyeong’.

└[Bodhidharma]

: There is no reason to refuse, So Seung… I’ve been curious since last time, but what are you going to do with So Seung’s copy of the Sutra of the Threefold Path? What use is it for?

It was a sound that would terrify and make the Shaolin monk gasp in horror if he heard it.

But it wasn’t wrong.

Even if the Sutra of the Three Great Apostles was the most extraordinary of the extraordinary, it was of no use to those who had already entered the ranks of Buddha and immortals.

└[Bodhidharma]

: Just in case, I’m telling you in advance, no matter how great the Hinayana Sutra is, the size of ‘that place’ cannot be increased.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: What, you little punk? You really want to get behind me. Okay, I guess I should go on a trip to ‘Paradise’ with Dongbin for the first time in a long while.

└[Bodhidharma]

: Yeo Dong-bin······ Are you talking about that?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Dongbin has been unable to fight lately, and he has recently turned the Great Heaven upside down by falling into sexual frustration. As a teacher, I cannot just sit by and watch my student’s sexual frustration, so I think we should take this opportunity to go on a trip to ‘Paradise.’

└[Bodhidharma]

: ······Are you really going to come out like that?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Then what are you going to do? What can you do? Are you going to confront Dongbin? What are you?

└[Bodhidharma]

: If you come out like that, I too should take a monkey with me and go on an outing to the heavenly world.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: If you’re talking about a monkey… Are you talking about Jecheon Daeseong?

└[Bodhidharma]

: Not long ago, Jecheon Daeseong said he was bored and turned the heavenly palace upside down. Sakyamuni also complained that he had a headache. I will take this opportunity to go on an outing to the ‘heavenly world’ with Jecheon Daeseong and practice.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Hey you punk! Jecheon Daeseong is foul play!

└[Bodhidharma]

: So you’re saying Yeo Dong-bin didn’t cheat?

······The childish bickering between Jongri Kwon and Dharma continued.

Fortunately, after a fight of about a day, it ended with both sides taking a step back, but no matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t help but wonder if those two were really a god and a Buddha.

└[Bodhidharma]

: Anyway, if you don’t intend to increase the size, then what on earth are you going to do with the Hinayana’s Sutra of Reverse Circumcision?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: I don’t know! So are you going to do it or not?

└[Bodhidharma]

: I don’t know what you’re trying to do······. As I said, there’s no reason for you to refuse. Go ahead.

The bet on the answer to the first question just started like that.

I swallowed hard and held my breath as I watched the Zen question and answer bet between Jongri Kwon and Dharma.

The first attack was by none other than Dharma.

└[Bodhidharma]

: One day, I was crossing a stone bridge and saw fish playing in a pond. Seeing the fish playing happily without any hesitation, I thought that might be nature and the Way.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Hey, you idiot. You’re not a fish, so how can you know what makes a fish happy or sad? Then how can you be sure that it’s the Way?

└[Bodhidharma]

: Then you are not a Hinayana, so how can you be sure whether this Hinayana knows the mind of a fish or not?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Yes, I am not a fool like you. That is why I do not know you. You are not a fish either, so how can you know the joy of a fish?

└[Bodhidharma]

: That is my question. You asked me how I know that fish are happy. Didn’t you ask me because you already knew that I knew the pleasure of fish? So the Hinayana said that I knew the pleasure of fish.

······I didn’t understand a single thing that was being said.

I honestly didn’t understand a single word.

That’s why I thought this was a wise question, but unlike me, Jong-Ri-Kwon seemed to understand.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: ······You fucking asshole.

[The Emperor Shen Huang Zhongli Quan donated 500 years of merit to Dharma.]

Suddenly, a new phrase appeared on the scroll. It said, “What if I donate merit?”, and it seemed that in the celestial world, merit was given and received in this way.

however.

“Can’t I also give and receive merit like this?”

It was a thought that suddenly occurred to me.

Moreover, their merits basically amounted to hundreds of years, so if this were possible, I could completely shake off my worries about my lifespan.

“I’ll have to ask you once it’s over.”

First, the first question and answer.

I focused again on the conversation between Jongli Kwon and Dharma.

The first match was a defeat for Jong-Ri-Kwon.

Is he really the Buddha of Buddhism and a master of Zen questions and answers?

There were still some attacks left to do, but honestly, it seemed impossible to defeat Dharma.

I could see why Jongli Kwon had been so angry all this time, and of course I couldn’t beat Dharma with Zen questions.

Compared to the depth of Dharma and enlightenment, I am nothing more than a speck of dust.

It could be said that even if you beat him to death, you cannot defeat Dharma.

But it was okay.

Because I wasn’t trying to ‘beat’ Dharma.

So, from now on, we can say that the real plan begins.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Then let me ask.

My plan and the subsequent attack of Jongli Kwon have begun.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Why did Dharma go east?

└[Bodhidharma]

: ············??

The image of Dharma shown in the portrait was ‘going out’.

On the other hand, the mind of the Jongli Kwon was not ‘in the state of a fool’, so only Dharma could ask questions while the mind was out.

└[Bodhidharma]

: ······What is this crazy drunk talking about? Somehow, I thought it was strange that he suddenly wanted to make a bet on the answer to a question. Are you drunk?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: I’m not drunk, you piece of shit!

└[Bodhidharma]

: It is said that those who are originally drunk say that they are not drunk.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: I said I wasn’t drunk! Don’t beat around the bush and answer quickly! Why did Dharma go east?

In the portrait, Dharma’s face was still out, but after much thought, he wrote down a reply to Zongliquan’s firm attitude.

└[Bodhidharma]

: To advance with a mindful heart and to consider one’s actions when retreating is to act while stopping and observing together, to cultivate both concentration and wisdom, and to maintain right mindfulness and right knowledge. As things flow and turn, they return to their original place; this is the natural order of things. Following this principle, I went ‘east’ and established a place called ‘Shaolin’ to spread my enlightenment.

“······Was it like that?”

To be honest, I never expected that he would answer like that. And since it was ‘Dalma’ himself who answered, it had to be true.

The secret story of how the ‘Shaolin’ of Gupaebang was able to exist today.

Although I couldn’t understand a single word of what he was saying, I could tell that Dharma had given a definite ‘correct answer’······but.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Wrong, you piece of shit.

Unfortunately, it was not the ‘answer’ mentioned in the Zen question.

└[Bodhidharma]

: What?

As expected, Dharma’s absurd words came to mind.

The boy Dharma, who had been out and about, was almost on the verge of entering nirvana.

But a match is a match.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Since you didn’t give a proper answer, this round of dialogue is my victory, you punk. So just hand me over the reverse chronology. Hahahaha!

└[Bodhidharma]

: ·········.

There was a moment when Dharma didn’t have any specific answer.

└[Bodhidharma]

: I can’t admit it! I said so in the first place, so who are you to know my heart?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Oh? Then you are not me, so how do you know whether I know your heart or not?

└[Bodhidharma]

: that······!

The portrait of Dharma opened its eyes wide.

That would be the case, since Dharma’s rebuttal just now was simply a matter of applying the same logic that Dharma won in the first question and answer about fish.

Of course, it was ‘forced’, but that was the original Zen question and answer, and if we look at it that way, we also end up concluding that Dharma’s first question and answer was forced.

In other words, it could be said that it was a case of ‘the same old story’, so Dharma ended up being ‘speechless’.

Dharma finally admits defeat.

└[Bodhidharma]

: ······Please tell me the answer. Why did I go east?

The face of Dharma, seen in the portrait, was full of questions.

It was natural.

In fact, this was a nonsensical ‘question’.

So, the answer I gave to Jong-Ri-Kwon was this.

[The Emperor Shen Huang Zhongli Quan donated 500 years of merit to Dharma.]

└[Bodhidharma]

: ·········What are you doing?

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: What the heck. Didn’t I promise to give you 500 years of merit if I couldn’t give you a proper answer?

└[Bodhidharma]

: So why that·········? No way!!

Finally realizing the ‘true meaning’ of this confrontation, Dharma’s two eyes opened wide in a tearful manner.

He already had a sullen look, but when I opened my eyes, I thought he was not Buddha but a ‘monster from the Shan Hai Jing.’

Anyway.

My plan was this.

Zen questions and answers.

Truth is indescribable and unwritten.

Originally, ‘truth’ and ‘enlightenment’ were to be understood through intuition or emotion, but it was impossible to give up teaching through words, so ‘Buddhist Zen questions and answers’ emerged to resolve this contradictory situation.

That is why the ‘Seonmundap’ is full of abstract ‘wordplay’ that has no substance.

The only strategy that will not allow you to win the Zen dialogue with Dharma, who you can never win against, but will never lose.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: I just said that there was a ‘question’ in the Zen question and answer.

“I didn’t say there was an answer to that.”

A ‘question’ that had no ‘answer’ from the beginning.

This was ‘the reason why Dharma went east’.

* * *

The Zen question and answer bet between Jongri Kwon and Dharma is one-on-one.

In other words, it ended in a ‘draw’.

However, strictly speaking, since Jongli Kwon had used up his ‘500 years of merit’ ‘twice’, it could be said that it was in fact Jongli Kwon’s ‘defeat’.

But what the heck.

└[Emperor Divine Right]

: Youngest, come out and see! Haha! Hahaha! Ehhaha, hahahahahahahaha!! Thanks to you···! Hahahahahaha! Dharma, that bastard···! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

@청운 @청운 @청운 @청운 @청운 @청운 @청운 @청운

Jongri Kwon did not look like a defeated person at all.

Jongli Kwon laughed like a drunkard, completely oblivious to the 1,000 years of merit he had donated to Dharma.

Is that why?

Pitter-patter! Pitter-patter!

Pupadadeodeodeodeok!!

······The person in charge was also going crazy and running wild like a drunkard.