Is That My Alter Ego - Chapter 103



Chapter 103 – The Memory of You

As the entire continent of the Empire basked in the sweltering heat of summer, only the North overflowed with a chilling cold.

The tale of four seasons did not hold true in the North. There existed but one season there.

Yet, that did not mean the inhabitants of the North were unhappy. They too lived their lives, finding small joys along the way.

The Frost Territory, deemed the safest domain in the North, was no different from the most perilous regions of the Empire.

Though it had once suffered a scandal that left it stagnant for a long time, happiness had returned to their daily lives.

And upon the hill overlooking the entirety of the Frost Territory stood the beautiful Frost Citadel, shining even more brilliantly today, illuminated by sunlight and the snow piled around it.

“……..”

And through the snow reflecting the sunlight, the world had turned even whiter. Ariel Frost sat quietly on the window sill, gazing out.

No longer did she attempt to take her own life. She had realized that such an act would render Venice’s will, that noble sacrifice, meaningless.

Thus, Ariel’s daily routine consisted of but two tasks: to root out the dark sorcerers and to slay them.

Since the day she successfully wielded the magic to change the weather, she felt no fatigue without sleep, no hunger without meals.

And rather than waste time on trivial matters, seeking out and killing one more dark sorcerer was far more meaningful, a duty she must fulfill.

However… lately, the number of dark sorcerers had been dwindling rapidly.

It had become almost pointless for Ariel to seek and slay them, as their numbers had diminished to such an extent.

“….What is it that I must do today?”

Just yesterday, she had failed to find the dark sorcerer. Lost in her purpose, Ariel was engulfed in turmoil.

How could she act now, to remember and conjure him? The dark magics had nearly vanished…

It was such a simple answer, yet it eluded Ariel, who could no longer think clearly.

And that answer revealed itself in the chatter of maids drifting in from beyond the door.

– “Did you hear? The pancake shop has opened its third location in the Frost Domain!”

– “Oh my…! I’ve wanted to go to that place forever, but the lines were always so long…! What a relief!”

– “Yes, yes! Let’s go together next time!”

“………”

Pancakes. The Frost Domain…

As those words echoed in her mind, joyful memories began to surface. Just recalling them made her heart ache, yet filled her with such happiness.

…Perhaps it’s time to visit the Frost Domain again.

Through the open window, Ariel leapt. A soft thud marked her landing.

Thus, Ariel slowly made her way, feeling the gentle sensations beneath her feet and the crunching sounds accompanying her steps, heading toward the Frost Domain.

To the place she hadn’t visited in months, where memories of him lingered.

*

The Frost Domain buzzed with life today as well. Though it was a place perpetually cold and frigid throughout the year, the warmth of human presence chased away that chill, it was no exaggeration to say.

Draped in a robe that concealed her form, Ariel walked slowly through the bustling streets of the Frost Domain. She had no desire to reveal her face to the citizens.

– “Come warm yourself with our hot soup!”

– “Experience the Frost Domain’s special hot springs! We’ll show you paradise!”

– “Wow! There are so many fascinating things!”

Merchants outside their shops called out, enticing travelers with their wares.

The citizens of the Frost Domain had increased significantly compared to before.

It was the safest domain in the north, and given the many unfortunate events that had transpired, many villages sought to join the Frost Domain.

So swiftly did shops and people multiply. Ariel halted before a sign that felt all too familiar.

– “Stew of the Veil.” –

In a time when sleek and polished buildings were the norm, this sign seemed almost antiquated.

Most people, gazing at the shabby, old wooden structure, did not take a step forward.

Nobles visiting for leisure, and the heightened standards of hygiene in the present made it feel somewhat distant.

Yet, Ariel Frost quietly stepped inside that building.

Ding—

The creak of the ancient wooden door hinges echoed, accompanied by the soft chime of a bell. It remained old and worn, yet nothing had changed since that time.

The voices of the locals, familiar from long ago, filled the air. Ariel found a vacant spot among them and quietly settled down.

As soon as Ariel took her seat, the proprietor, Mrs. Veil, approached her.

“What can I get for you?”

“…One stew.”

“Just a moment, please.”

Her voice, heavy and subdued, was unlike anything before, and draped in her robe, Veil did not recognize Ariel. True to her word, a bowl of stew was placed before Ariel almost immediately.

“……….”

Ariel gazed down at the utterly ordinary stew before her. And in that moment, memories of a happier day flooded back.

The time she had shared a bowl of stew with Venice. The hostile glares directed at him had made him tremble, hastily gulping down the stew.

It was a sight that had been somewhat pitiable, yet undeniably endearing. Though she hadn’t recognized the feeling then, she understood it now.

Slurp—

The hot stew slid down her throat. The taste was… utterly mundane, yet perhaps it was precisely that which made it feel special.

As if she had been transported back to that moment. Ariel savored the stew in silence.

Moments later, the bowl was empty, and Ariel rose from her seat, heading to the counter, where she placed a single small coin before departing.

“…Huh! Is this a gold coin…?!”

A short while later, Veil emerged from the kitchen, her expression shifting from bewilderment as she gazed at the gleaming gold coin on the counter to a broad smile.

*

As Ariel stepped out of the stew shop, her feet instinctively led her toward the place of cherished memories.

As she walked, even before arriving, a fluffy, sweet aroma wafted through the air. It was clear that many were lined up, drawn by the scent.

“Then, let’s go together!”

“….Yeah.”

It felt as if the memories of that time were being resurrected, unfolding right before her eyes. His excited voice seemed to echo in her ears.

Ariel answered softly, barely audible, before standing behind the line of people.

“Here you go. Enjoy your meal!”

The line dwindled quickly, and in Ariel’s hands was a warm plate of pancakes.

On the fluffy pancakes, syrup and butter were perfectly drizzled. The sight and smell were unchanged from that time.

Fluff— Yum.

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As she looked down at the pancakes, Ariel took a piece with her fork and pushed it into her mouth.

Fluffy pancakes, drizzled with syrup that makes them even more delectable, and the rich harmony of butter resonates in the mouth.

Desserts were never really my thing… So why does this pancake taste so divine?

“Yum yum… Miss Ariel, you should try some too! …Isn’t it delicious?”

“…Yes. It’s… good.”

Once again, the image of Venice unfurls before Ariel’s eyes. As if to question when she had last worn a sorrowful expression, that smile—endlessly pure and blissful—gazes back at her.

The coldness of falling snow kisses her skin. And there, it stirs within her heart, the memory of Venice that made her pulse race.

No matter what the world might offer, gazing at that radiant smile, unchangeable, was enough.

“It’s… good. Yes.”

Ariel faces him, offering a small smile. A pure smile that had never been shown to anyone else.

More than the syrup that drenched the pancakes, the sweetener of that happy memory was far more delicious.

Having devoured all the pancakes, Ariel slowly and quietly walked through the Frost Realm.

With each step she took, moments shared with him materialized before her. His expressions, his footsteps, even the sound of his breath. Everything emerged as a memory.

The restaurant where they had dined together. The alleyways they had wandered without reason.

As she strolled through those places, happy memories bubbled up like soft clouds.

It felt as if she had returned to that time. After so long, she could feel the emotion of happiness once more.

“Darling. Let’s go over there!”

“Haha. You seem particularly excited today? We have plenty of time, so let’s take it slow.”

“Yes! I love anything—! As long as you’re with me!”

Before Ariel’s eyes, a couple strolled by, their overflowing love unhidden.

A woman with hair close to ash gray, and a man with similarly colored locks.

As Ariel stared blankly at them, she unconsciously superimposed her and Venice’s figures onto theirs.

Herself whispering tales of love to Venice, and Venice, beaming a pure smile, chiming in.

There was nothing more to wish for. As long as this person beside me was there, it didn’t matter where we were or what situation we faced.

Venice and I sat in the square at the heart of the Frost Realm. We faced each other on that bench.

We spoke, gazing into one another’s eyes. Objectively, the stories weren’t particularly amusing, but with the magic of this moment shared with him, laughter bubbled forth.

Then, I stood from the bench, looking down at Venice. Perhaps he noticed my expression, for he smiled back.

Our faces drew closer. The sound of our breaths became so distinct, and finally, our lips met.

This moment. If only this moment could last forever, nothing else would be needed. Just being able to be with him, who was more than I could ever deserve, was a blessing.

And then, he, who had been seated, reached out his hand toward me. Toward me—

Crash—!

And in that moment, Ariel’s delusions shattered completely. Venice… no, the way that man reached out was just like how Venice had once extended his hand toward me.

My everything, my savior, lost. The days I let him die by my own hand, and Venice’s final moments, that smile—everything comes rushing back.

The illusion named memory has broken. Ariel stares blankly at the couple walking away, hands clasped together.

As the happy memories fade, only the wretched reality remains. His breath, his voice, that pure smile, even the warmth he brought—everything scatters and vanishes.

The image of Venice, standing beside me, looking at me with a smile, dissolves into nothingness.

I reach out for that fading presence, or perhaps one that never existed at all, but of course, I grasp nothing.

“……..”

The outstretched hand falls limply. Ariel’s head bows toward the ground.

My chest… it hurts so much. A reality without him is so cold, so piercing, so painful.

At any moment… it feels like I might explode. Ariel does not meet anyone’s gaze, nor does he speak, until he reaches his room in the Frost Citadel, beyond the Frost Realm.

Creeeak… thud.

Finally, arriving in his room, Ariel collapses onto the floor.

“Ugh… huff… hwaah…”

The emotions he had held back begin to erupt. The tears that drip down are as cold as the feelings they represent.

“Veni… ce… Venice…”

Desperately calling his name, yet he is no longer by my side. No matter how much I deny reality, it has come to confront me at some point.

I… it hurts so much. My chest feels like it might tear apart at any moment…

A reality without you is… so miserable and sad. Since the moment you left, I have not known a single moment of peace.

My life, stripped of your warmth, is unbearably cold and lonely.

“Ugh… hwaah…”

How am I supposed to live on from here?

The memory of you… more precious than my own life. You no longer linger by my side.

I can no longer feel your smile, your voice, your warmth in any place.

Even as I try to escape reality by recalling memories of Venice, those memories inevitably crumble, dragging me back to the harsh truth.

Each time, my heart aches more, and the coldness I feel is enough to freeze my entire body and soul.

“Huh… ugh… ah…”

I miss you… so much.

I want to see you so badly.

I resent and hate myself for not even realizing your heart, for leading you to death.

“Venice… I want to see you…”

To stifle the heart that felt ready to burst, Ariel clutched her chest with one hand and cried out.

Those memories, now drifting away, were moments of happiness that could only be recalled as mere echoes, the very essence of life itself.

So blissful, so joyous, that they brought an ache of sorrow to her heart.

No matter how much she cried out, how much she hated, or how much she felt joy, he would not return. Ariel could only weep in silence.