Producer with no Regrets - Chapter 821



Only Krnovel

Episode 821 Epilogue: Young Forever (7)

The HPT Music Awards are over.

Those who had gathered at Garo Enter to watch the broadcast together prepared to leave work.

Except for Seongpil and Han Guin.

Han Gu-in went to answer the phone for a moment and said that he had a guest coming in so the company would answer the phone.

It was past 10 PM. Everyone was curious about his identity since he was coming to the company, but Hong Gyu-heon said that he had something to say.

Son Hye-bin asked playfully while putting on her coat.

“You invited me to the company at this hour. You’re not a secret lover, are you?”

“Why is your lover at work… … Ah.”

Min Kyung-seop nodded toward Han Gu-in as if he realized something.

“Fantasy is important.”

“That’s not it… … .”

Everyone added a word to the Korean joke in an excited voice.

The tension was high overall.

Even Han Gu-in, who would normally have frowned at the mischievous prank, had a faint smile on his face.

“Well, then those who want to go should go.”

Hong Gyu-heon packed his bag and prepared to leave. Then he glanced at Seong-pil.

Seongpil also met her eyes. Hong Gyuheon’s eyes were filled with all sorts of happy emotions that were difficult to express clearly, whether it was emotion or trust.

I wonder if she would feel like hugging Seongpil and shedding tears.

Of course, since the Girls’ League already did that when they won the grand prize, they can’t do it again.

“Let’s do the official ceremony properly tomorrow. It’s getting late.”

“Let’s go, let’s go!”

“Then, hyung, take it easy and go in. Director Han too.”

“Director Min, why are you looking at your phone so seriously? Did your sister-in-law tell you to come in quickly?”

“Ah, what… … .”

“I did something bad. I held onto my precious husband at someone else’s house at the end of the year and watched TV shows.”

“Wh, what are you talking about! I’m the kind of person who would wake up at dawn and run to you if you called me!”

“Why are you suddenly like this, Dad?”

“I think Kyung-seop is determined to get more stock options if the company goes public.”

“somehow.”

“You said there was a set amount I could receive anyway… … .”

Min Kyung-seop became depressed because his loyalty was being questioned. Those who were going to leave left, and the company lobby became as quiet as a mouse.

Seongpil picked up the remote control and turned off the television in front of the sofa.

“Why is Director Park staying?”

“It’s just… … I won’t be able to sleep even if I go home now, and I want to enjoy the afterglow more.”

aftertaste.

Well, that would be the case.

All the executives who watched the HPT Music Awards together cheered at the amazing results. The happiness they felt must have been indescribable.

But was it as thrilling as Seongpil?

Seongpil is the executive producer.

He is the producer of Waypercent, who won the main award, Chaotic Energy, who won the rookie award, and Girls’ League, who won the grand prize.

‘My hands and feet still feel tingly.’

If this is the case for Koreans, what about Sungpil, who produced them himself? He might even stay up all night today.

“Did you finally get a call?”

“Oh, that’s right.”

As Seongpil turned his gaze towards the turned off television, Hanguin’s eyes naturally followed his.

The HPT Music Awards, which were just airing, caught my eye.

“Don’t you think it’s annoying? In the past, you used to look at Director Han with a bewildered expression, but now that things have gotten this way, you’re contacting me.”

“I understand. I was half-hearted when I brought that up.”

“Half and half?!”

Seongpil glared at Hanguin with a shocked expression. It was as if he was protesting, “Aren’t we moving forward with the same dream?”

The Korean man smiled faintly and nodded.

“That’s understandable, it’s only been a year. Just a year… … .”

The time when a baby who was crawling can finally stand up.

The time when a first-year middle school student who seems to have lost a screw somewhere becomes a second-year middle school student who is still missing a screw.

A time when a college graduate with big dreams becomes half-dead after being hit by the storms of society.

Roughly speaking, it’s an ambiguous time for something to change drastically.

“Who would have expected this to happen? But now it’s inevitable. I finally realized it after seeing Director Park’s performance. In fact, I think it was very early to contact him right after the broadcast ended.”

“It’s ‘us.’”

“yes?”

“It’s not my achievement, it’s our achievement.”

“… … .”

Han Gu-in raised the corners of his lips faintly and suddenly spoke in an arrogant tone.

“That’s a bit difficult. Let’s give this year’s achievements to Director Park.”

“……yes?”

“Let’s make this year Director Park’s year. With Director Park’s complete achievements.”

“What are you talking about… … .”

Seongpil had a hard time understanding his story. Han Guin smiled broadly, as if he was even more excited.

“Because next year will be my year.”

Only then did Sungpil realize what he was talking about. This year was Sungpil’s year, meaning that the idols he produced were hitting home runs one after another and the Girls’ League was receiving the grand prize.

And the fact that next year is the Year of the Hankook Ilbo meant that Garo Enter is about to go public.

“I don’t like sharing the credit for our achievements. I will be the one who gets the most credit next year.”

“You really have no talent for humor. I wonder who Hayang learned it from.”

“yes?!”

Seongpil laughed heartily.

It was just a joke and a public statement by a Korean person.

He could have said directly, “No, Director Park worked much harder. You should be more proud of him,” but he insisted on mixing humor into it.

“what.”

Seongpil put his hand on Hanguin’s shoulder, who was looking depressed. Then he made an arrogant remark like Hanguin had made earlier.

“I worked hard this year and prepared the meals for you, so do it right next year. You understand? If you mess up, I won’t let you off easy.”

The eyebrows of Han Gu-in, which had been drooping gloomily, formed a cool curve.

“yes.”

The two serious men looked at each other for a while, not knowing when to break the serious atmosphere, and then they both burst into laughter.

“Can I use the lobby lounge?”

“Oh, yes. Since there won’t be anyone here anyway, this is better than the small reception room.”

Seongpil headed to the office on the second floor. He checked the messenger app on his phone as he climbed the stairs.

There were various messages, from managers taking the Girls’ League to the dorms, to Rika spamming 30 victory emoticons in a group chat room where all the executives and Girls’ League members were gathered.

In Sungpil’s private chat, of course, the Girls’ League contacted him, as well as Waypercent and Chaotic Energy members.

Except for the Girls’ League, they were all stiff and very polite.

‘Did the managers tell you to do this? You didn’t have to do that… … .’

If I had contacted Seongpil, I would have contacted all the executives as well, and then just putting together the sentences would have been a huge task.

As I checked them one by one, I arrived at the office. Even then, there were still so many messages to check.

People from all over the entertainment world sent congratulatory messages to Sungpil.

‘Director Jo Jeong-hun, CEO Jo Jin-man, and CEO Hong Yeon-heon also sent it.’

In addition, there are PDs and writers I know from broadcasting stations, people in charge of iTube channels, managers and A&R team members from various companies… … It’s hard to mention them all.

Seongpil, sitting down, let out a sigh of embarrassment yet happiness.

How can I reply to them all… … .

‘Let’s do it tomorrow.’

At first glance, there are dozens. If I reply to all of them with sincerity, the day will break. Then, this aftertaste will also disappear with the dawn.

Seongpil sat down with a pious mind and turned on the computer. He immediately went to iTube and searched for the HPT Music Awards.

The diligent broadcasters have already collected and uploaded clips. The most notable one among them was the ‘Daesang, Song of the Year’ award.

‘As expected, the award-winning clip is the best.’

Album of the Year.

Song of the Year.

Artist of the Year Award.

These three were lined up at the top. Below them were the event stages for the groups that received the three awards.

Seongpil was about to click on the ‘Song of the Year’ video, but then he quietly picked up his phone.

I would have liked to call the Girls’ League members and share this emotion with them.

but.

‘Because it’s not polite.’

It’s late at night.

No, that’s not the problem; it’s the physical strength of the Girls’ League members that’s the problem.

I couldn’t sleep and prepared from the crack of dawn, rehearsing, waiting, performing, and guarding the award ceremony seat all night long in a cold that made my skin numb.

You’re probably already in tatters, both mentally and physically.

The unusually heated group chat room proved their state. It seems they meant to talk through messenger and postpone sharing their emotions in person until tomorrow.

Although it was a pity, they were not upset.

‘Good job, guys.’

Seongpil, who put his phone down next to the keyboard, clicked on the video. Then, what he heard was the voice of the MC who was taking an unusually long time, drawing sighs from the audience.

[Song of the Year! Song of the Year! Yes! Song of the Year! Yes, then! Let’s announce! Song of the Year!]

It’s my second time seeing it, but I still feel nervous as if my heart is burning. The blood in my body circulates quickly and even my breathing becomes ragged.

[Congratulations! Song of the Year, Girls’ League’s ‘Song for People’!]

A huge cheer went up.

The members who had been standing there blankly were still blank even after their names were called. Only Jang Ha-yang stood up with clear eyes, but you could clearly see his legs shaking.

Some of them started crying, and soon they were all tangled up together like a bunch of hamsters, and they were all crying. Jang Ha-yang was on the outside and hugged them all at once.

Seongpil’s nose became tingly.

“… … .”

It was definitely the second time, but the level of emotion was in no way less than before.

It is the target, the target.

It is the end of an idol’s career. It is safe to say that there is no greater glory than this. There are three types of awards. Receiving one of them is the greatest glory an idol can enjoy.

The exception is WTP, which won three awards at the same time. Since the birth of K-pop idols, this is a mythical achievement that only one group has achieved.

In other words, the target is the true goal tape that all idols dream of.

The true pinnacle of self-proclaimed best, which no one can refute… … .

“Ugh… … .”

No, I didn’t like that kind of investigative praise. Seongpil was so happy that he couldn’t stand just watching this scene.

[If, if our members weren’t here… I might have given up, just like those who don’t like us said… But now I know. I get it. Because the people gave us evidence… Because everyone is telling me that the path I took was the right one…]

Seongpil’s eyes filled with tears.

[I would like to take this opportunity to say a few words to my mother, who raised me alone. You always… … said you were sorry, often. But now you don’t have to… … Mom… … . You are my daughter who has received such a great award, so why should I be sorry… … . I have grown up so well… … .]

Seongpil’s lips tremble pitifully.

[I came to know what it was like when other people liked the things I liked… … I came to know how happy it was that people liked me… … I just, just said thank you… … .]

Seongpil covered his mouth with the back of his hand.

[I don’t think this award is too much for us! This award was obtained through our efforts! The support of those who love us! The encouragement of those who helped us! The strength and wishes of tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, and millions of people! So! I will gratefully! Accept it!]

A mouth covered with the back of one’s hand lets out a laugh.

[When will the best moment be? I don’t know. But I can promise you, people. If you continue to be with us, I will show you a sight that no one has ever seen before. The best moment for us and you is yet to come, so let’s continue together.]

Seongpil tightly closed his eyes. The tears that had been gathering in his eyes flowed down his cheeks along with his breath. When he finally opened his eyes, Baek Seol-ha, standing proudly on the podium, declared.

[We will become the best idols.]

… … Really, really.

[thank you.]

Seongpil loves them.

He loves them so much that he regrets not having given birth to them.

I love them with all my heart.

“……thank god.”

Thank goodness I didn’t meet them today.

If he had faced them in this emotional state, there is no telling what Seongpil would have done.

Like a father who gives his children whatever they want, he would have accepted all their demands.

It’s an extreme example, but even if they demand death from Sungpil, they can die happily. If that’s their true happiness, they can give up their lives.

Seongpil was experiencing emotions that he would never have felt before, emotions that he would never have been able to experience unless he became a parent.

It is love that has reached the utmost extreme.

“Fortunately… … .”

Seongpil let out a breath full of water. It was almost like panting. It was hard to control his emotions.

“I can’t stand seeing this… … .”

“Ta-da, it’s a surprise!”

The office door burst open and Rika’s lively shout broke the silence.

Seongpil looked over in surprise. Then he saw Rika with her hands on her hips and a confident expression. Then, the members of the Girls’ League, including her, rushed into the office.

“Huh? The old man is crying! What is it? What is it!”

“Team leader, were you watching our video?”

“Eek?! You can’t let the video stop you from crying! The real thing is here, so watch it to your heart’s content and shed tears of emotion!”

Rika ran towards Seongpil and moved her face around, as if she was telling him to look at her face from different angles.

“What do you think? Is it touching?”

“Wow, sir, what’s with your face? You look like a crying baby. Wipe your nose.”

“Hey, Joara! Don’t tease the team leader!”

While the younger brother line was lively, the older sister line reacted ambiguously to seeing Seongpil, who was like a crybaby.

It was because I had a rough idea of ​​how embarrassing it was for an adult to be caught crying.

Shin A-reum picked up a tissue nearby and wiped Seong-pil’s face carefully.

“Why are you wiping it when you’re going to cry again when you see Atashi’s (my) face anyway!”

Rika was more playful than usual. She probably liked Seongpil, who was a crybaby watching the Girls’ League video.

“Hahaha, Rika. Stop teasing Director Park.”

“Ha, hi (yes)… … .”

At Jang Ha-yang’s laughter-filled rebuke, Rika quickly backed away from Seong-pil.

“Team leader, blow your nose. Huh!”

Shin A-reum put a tissue to Seong-pil’s nose and encouraged him to blow his nose. Since he hadn’t regressed to that level yet, Seong-pil carefully pushed her hand away.

“I, I, Director Park.”

Baek Seol-ha slowly approached Seong-pil. She held the sparkling crystal trophy in her arms and timidly handed it to Seong-pil.

“That, that, hehe, target… … .”

Baekseol-ha barely managed to hold back the tears that were about to burst out. Sniffling, she moved closer to Seongpil.

“I got the prize… … .”

Grand Prize.

Song of the Year.

Winner, Girls’ League.

“Everyone… … A miracle… … This is it… … .”

Baek Seol-ha swallowed hard. Her throat was dry because she was breathing so hard. It was an unusual throat condition for her, who unconsciously cared about her breathing.

“Other fellow idols… … congratulate me… … say I’m amazing… … .”

This is the first time for a girl group. It is the first case to break through the 20-year-old iron wall of the three major entertainment companies.

An achievement that will forever be recorded in the history of idols.

“We… … .”

Snow White shook her head.

“Director Park made it happen.”

Rika, who was standing right next to him, took something out. It was the ‘Best General Producer Award’ trophy that the Girls’ League had presented to Sungpil last year.

Rika had taken the talisman to the awards ceremony, and its purpose wasn’t simply the talisman.

It was also for this moment.

Sungpil was awarded the Grand Prize trophy and the Best Executive Producer trophy at the same time.

Rika, who was handing over the Producer Award trophy, cried out with tears in her eyes.

“The staff said they would personally send me the ‘Executive Producer of the Year’ trophy in a few days! This is a replacement!”

It was a small gift prepared by the members of the Girls’ League that he had already received last year. Sungpil cried when he received it. He said that he was already the best producer.

It was prophetic. It had to have the precondition of ‘not yet’. But at this moment, the gift prepared by the Girls’ League became real.

Seongpil was the executive producer of the year and the best executive producer.

“Now, take the trophy that should rightfully belong to Director Park!”

Joara crossed her arms and turned her head slightly to pretend to be strong. However, it was impossible to act perfectly. The more she stared at Seongpil, the more her expression collapsed. Eventually, she bit her lips and shut her eyes tightly.

Shin A-reum waited with dreamy eyes for Sung-pil to receive the trophy. Ever since she was a middle school student, when she had decided to make his dream come true, this scene had only existed in her dreams. But now it was reality. It had become reality and overwhelmed her, leaving her unable to move her hands or feet.

The moment Seongpil received the trophy, Jang Ha-yang prepared to spread her arms, as if she was planning to hug him.

“ruler.”

“ruler!”

Baek Seol-ha and Rika handed the trophy to Seong-pil.

Seongpil slowly raised his weakly fallen hand. His hand shook continuously like a tree branch in the winter wind.

Finally, his hand reached out and touched the trophy.

Seongpil felt the light from the trophy pass through his fingers. The light entered his fingers, passed through his arm, and reached his heart.

At that moment, Seongpil felt something breaking inside him.

It breaks.

The broken ones fall down.

“uh?”

Along with Baek Seol-ha’s panicked voice, Seong-pil knelt down. The hand that had been reaching forward to receive the trophy also came down, and he barely managed to hold onto the hem of Baek Seol-ha’s top to support his body.

Seongpil lowered his head while holding onto Baekseolha’s clothes. It was a sight like a building collapsing.

At a time when everyone was standing with their mouths open in surprise.

“Ugh… … .”

The tears, full of moisture like the sea breeze, spread through Seongpil’s voice.

Jo Ara, who had been holding back tears while pretending to be strong, spoke cheerfully as if she had caught a good opportunity.

“What are you doing, sir? You’re crying again… .”

However, her cheerful voice soon ended.

Seongpil cried.

No, I cried.

He let out a loud, sorrowful sob, as if his own relative had died right before his eyes.

* * *

Seongpil has a mental defect. He has been aware of it since he was very young, after his parents passed away.

The first time he went to the hospital was when he was at Success Entertainment, at a time when he thought he could afford the hospital bill.

Near Success Enter. Like Success Enter, it was a small, shabby, small building housing a hospital.

The doctor who interviewed Seongpil said with certainty:

“There is a lot I want to say, but if we just look at the symptoms that are apparent, it is a serious ‘workaholism’ that requires treatment.”

Seongpil thought, ‘Huh, that’s funny.’

“I thought you’d say something like that. I took half a day off with great determination, and now I’m hearing something like this. Just let me go. I was just following the kids’ schedule. Is that the problem in the first place? I like working, so I do it.”

“Generally, workaholism is an avoidance behavior.”

“… … What did you say?”

“It’s trying to run away, that’s it.”

“… … .”

Seongpil argued fiercely with the doctor.

An hour later.

Seongpil was sobbing.

“Uh, uh, how, uh, uh… .”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

My whole family died in a car accident.

Seongpil, who was spending time at a friend’s house to celebrate his parents’ wedding anniversary, hurried to the hospital.

Father died instantly.

Mother was still alive. Just before she died, she looked at Seongpil and said this.

Please take good care of my little brother.

Seongpil said, “Okay, I understand.”

That was the beginning. A curse that would haunt him for eternity.

The doctor’s answer was this.

“Have a child.”

He was a little different from the ‘modern’ doctors. In the world of neuropsychology, where drugs were touted as a cure-all, he still believed that Freudian psychoanalysis, Jungian analytical psychology, and individual psychology were effective.

Maybe that’s why his hospital can’t escape its small building status.

“Medicine doesn’t solve the fundamental problem. Let’s take cancer as an example. It’s like only removing the symptoms of cancer without removing the cancer itself. The listlessness, physical decline, and all kinds of dysfunction disappear, but the cancer cells remain. You live thinking you’re healthy, and then you die.”

The real solution lies in fundamental improvement of self-awareness and social relationships.

“Being obsessed with work. That is, the desire for creation resembles the longing for life. However, the client is a man, so life… … .”

The most valuable thing in this world.

My younger brother, who never saw the light of day, was taken away from me before he was even born.

“You can’t hold on to life. Instead, you project your desires elsewhere. But that’s avoidance. It may sound strange, but having children will help you to some extent.”

Seongpil agreed with his opinion to some extent. However, it is impossible for a man in his mid-to-late 20s to get married right away.

No, well, maybe it would work if I tried. No, that wasn’t the problem, I just felt uneasy.

Irony… … .

“We’ve been watching you for a long time.”

Even after he turned thirty, Seongpil continued to visit the hospital occasionally.

The doctor came to think of Seongpil almost as a friend.

It couldn’t be helped, because we met two or three times a year and had intimate conversations, so we had to show empathy.

Thanks to that, the doctor came to understand Seongpil better, sympathized with him, and felt friendly toward him even though he shouldn’t have.

From the beginning, this was more of a research exercise than a treatment for the doctor, as was Jung’s case with Sabina Spielrein.

Seongpil was the same way.

“Yes… … It’s a promise not to date… … .”

The doctor held his head.

Seongpil nodded his head gloomily.

“I think what the teacher said is right… … . Avoidance… … seems right… … .”

“Yes, it took so long for you to acknowledge me. Thank you very much.”

The doctor looked at him blankly and sighed.

“Creativity is like pregnancy, it tries to avoid danger. Just as a pregnant woman avoids things that could be dangerous, so a creative person in spirit also avoids danger. Things that could disturb his whole heart, for example, love.”

Be wary of and deliberately avoid creating something more precious than your creation, because if something more precious comes into existence, you will end up neglecting your creation.

The doctor shook his head.

“Maybe it’s not a mental defect, but rather that he was born as a creator. He just has that kind of personality.”

“Are you giving up on me?!”

“Why are you angry when you don’t even follow my prescription? It’s a compliment. It’s a compliment.”

“A compliment?”

The doctor laughed.

“You are a real artist.”

“… … .”

I see.

Are you a true artist?

Being passionate about work was not an evasive action to escape from real desires. The vow of not dating was natural for a creator.

Thinking about it that way, Seongpil felt much more at ease.

Yeah, I’m not weird.

* * *

no.

I’m weird, that’s right.

The real problem wasn’t pregnancy or creation or anything like that. The doctor was wrong on everything, except his first diagnosis.

Seongpil was avoiding it.

Now, as he was crying and holding onto Baek Seol-ha, who was holding the grand prize trophy, Sung-pil finally admitted the truth.

I acknowledged it, I recognized it, I realized it.

Seongpil was clearly aware of a certain entity coiled up inside his mind.

‘I was avoiding you.’

Shadow.

It is another self that exists in the unconscious. It is a self, but it is a self that the ego does not recognize as being itself.

When the shadow tries to jump out of the unconscious, the ego smashes its head and sends it back into the darkness.

Hasn’t that happened to you, when an embarrassing memory suddenly comes to mind and you kick the blanket or scream?

Because he didn’t want to admit to his shameful self, his ego suppressed the shadow that was trying to jump out.

Yes, the shadow is the self that is made up of only trash. The shadow must forever be stuck in a corner of the unconscious, rotting and decaying. Most people treat the shadow like that.

Meanwhile, the shadow is always crying, shouting like this.

‘I’m you too!’

Admit it.

Me too you.

Why don’t you acknowledge me?

It’s too much, I’m also you, why…

‘no.’

The ego speaks.

You are not me.

I’m not ugly like you.

Clean, noble, cool and strong.

In this way, the vast majority of humans live in their lofty selves, trampling on shadows until they die.

And only a very small number of people face their shadows. Those who are lucky enough to have the courage and opportunity to do so.

Carl Jung said that it is the final stage of personality development, the fusion of the unconscious and the conscious.

Seongpil faced the shadow and cried.

His ego turned to the deepest recesses of his unconscious, to the past he had buried.

“Seongpil.”

I see my mother lying in a hospital bed. And standing in front of her is young Seongpil.

“Please take care of my little brother… … .”

Seongpil answers.

“huh.”

Seongpil is a good and upright child, so he listens to his mother’s requests unconditionally. He cannot tell her that his younger brother has died, but responds brightly to her words.

The mother dies with a relieved face.

Now, the good Seongpil must carry out his mother’s request.

But, I don’t have a younger sibling.

That was the beginning of it all. A curse that would forever mark Seongpil as a flawed human being.

Memories are rewinding.

“Seongpil.”

I see my mother lying in a hospital bed. And standing in front of her is young Seongpil.

“Please take care of my little brother… … .”

Seongpil answers.

Seongpil, an adult, but also covered in shadows.

“Mom, you know.”

It should have been like this from long ago. It was what I wanted to do. However, Seongpil was a good kid, so he couldn’t do it. He suppressed and suppressed his shadow, trying to remain a good kid.

But, I can’t do it anymore.

“Mom, Se-in is dead.”

The mother shook her eyes weakly at the words of the adult Seongpil.

“I don’t have a younger sibling.”

Seongpil, a good boy, felt as if his heart was being torn apart.

“I did my mother a favor… … .”

A request from a mother who is on the verge of death.

“I can’t listen… … .”

So, Mom.

“I, I’m better… … .”

Seongpil cries like a child and speaks to his mother who is staring at him coldly.

“I don’t think I can… … … .”

I don’t want to be tied down anymore.

I don’t want to live my life tied to anything other than myself.

Of course I know.

If you say something like that, you’ll be called not only an unfilial child, but also the worst piece of trash in the world. You’ll become a son of a bitch who can’t even fulfill his parents’ last request.

“I really want to do as Mom says… … .”

Seongpil’s ego embraces the shadow. In doing so, it reconciles itself. By acknowledging that it can no longer be the morally perfect, wonderful older brother that its mother wanted it to be.

He is not noble.

Selfish and ugly.

He’s such a piece of trash that he wouldn’t even listen to his mother’s last request.

“With this… … .”

Seongpil holds out something to his mother. It is not his younger sibling, nor is it a life, but it is something that Seongpil thinks is of the highest value next to life.

It is about making everyone happy without discrimination.

Spread only happiness without hurting anyone.

The greatest force that ever crossed the world.

The name is culture.

“With this… … look at it… … .”

Seongpil held out his hand and was holding the grand prize trophy.

It was the best he could do, as he could not create life. With that best outcome in his hands, Seongpil pleaded with his mother.

“I’m sorry, so please… … .”

Seongpil apologizes to his mother but still acts selfishly.

“Please… … .”

The scenery changes in my tear-filled vision.

A few hours ago, Sungpil was standing in the hallway, his ear pressed against his mother’s swollen belly. He could hear her heartbeat and the voice of his younger brother, Sein.

Seongpil lifts his ears and looks up.

Mother was smiling affectionately. With that smile, her lips touched Seongpil’s forehead.

“I love you, my son.”

You must be happy.

Leaving behind those words that he had no memory of, his mother left for a date with his father. Young Seongpil smiled and waved at his parents, still listening to his younger brother’s heartbeat.

* * *

The members of the Girls’ League watched in amazement as Seongpil cried while holding onto Baek Seol-ha.

It couldn’t be seen that he was simply moved to tears. He cried endlessly, as if something had died.

Baekseol couldn’t shake off Seongpil’s hand that was holding the hem of her clothes. He was holding onto her clothes with such great force that it seemed as if he was trying to tear them, and his hands were shaking like crazy.

“Why, why are you crying!”

Rika knelt down next to Seongpil, fidgeting.

It must have hurt a lot since she had her knees planted on the hard floor, but Rika didn’t care at all.

He roughly threw the trophy he was holding onto the floor and grabbed Seongpil’s arm.

“You shouldn’t cry! It’s a good day… …!”

Seongpil became this year’s executive producer.

The Girls’ League received the award.

There are only good things.

If that were the case, then it would make sense that Sungpil would be crying because he was happy. However, the tears he was shedding did not seem to come from emotion at all.

Rika sobbed without realizing it and shook the arm she was holding onto.

“The teacher is in trouble!”

As he said, Baek Seol-ha was in trouble. The bottom of her top was being pulled down and it felt like it was going to rip. And with Sung-pil burying his head in her thigh and crying, how could she not be in trouble?

But more than that, Snow White was caught up in a certain thought.

‘It looks like the actor is crying.’

It’s a scene where an actor in a movie desperately acts out the grief of losing a family member.

There was a dramatic element to Seongpil’s sobbing.

Or was it that the actors that Baek Seol-ha had seen had been realistically portraying human sadness?

Seongpil looked that miserable.

This sight strangely pierced Baekseolha’s heart. She wanted to comfort him, even though she didn’t know what it was, but she didn’t know how.

While everyone was frozen in the unexpected situation, Jang Ha-yang moved. As if she was moving alone in a time-stopped state, her actions caught the attention of all the members.

Jang Ha-yang sat quietly behind Seong-pil and gently hugged his broad back.

“are you okay.”

Shin A-reum’s eyes, which had been frozen, began to tremble.

“What are you doing… … !”

Soon, Shin A-reum will rush in. Even so, Jang Ha-yang did not let go of the arm that was holding Seong-pil. Instead, she held him tighter.

The only one who understood him at this point was Jang Ha-yang.

‘Have a baby. That’s not what I want. It’s impossible. It’s inherently impossible. Ever.’

In the past, when Jang Ha-yang’s parents came to Garo Enter, Seong-pil told her about his family history.

‘Maybe it was from that time that I wanted to create an idol. The most valuable thing in the world, a jewel and light that the world would never stop cheering and praising.’

Because she heard it from him, Jang Ha-yang understood Seong-pil’s tears.

‘I think the reason I’m obsessed with producing idols is because I can’t create anything worthwhile on my own.’

Also, since he was a human who had already faced the shadow before Seongpil, he could understand.

What he is looking at.

What are you reconciling with?

What have you given up?

‘If by any chance, Hayang, you have the same hole in your heart as I do, will you think of me as family? If that’s what you want, I’ll do my best.’

Jang Ha-yang’s tone was like Sung-pil’s three years ago. Just as he held her hand and comforted her warmly, Jang Ha-yang’s voice was filled with the color of the sun.

Jang Ha-yang rested her cheek on his back and stroked his shoulders as if soothing a child.

“Thank you for your hard work. It must have been difficult. You really worked hard. That’s amazing.”

As if those words had been the trigger, Seongpil cried even louder. But something different from before happened.

Seongpil put down Baekseolha’s clothes. He spread out his hands like a baby asking for something from its parents.

Finally, the trophy was in his hands.

He hugged the two trophies and curled up like a maggot. Jang Ha-yang hugged him tighter. And continued talking.

“Thank you for your hard work.”

Jang Ha-yang’s consolation is effective.

As if they had realized something, the other members sat next to Seongpil and placed a hand on his back.

Why is Seongpil crying so much? It took them longer to digest Seongpil’s words than Jang Ha-yang.

Of course, I still didn’t know why. But I wanted to give him warmth. Just like family members naturally depend on each other even though they don’t fully understand each other.

They didn’t understand Sungpil’s feelings, but they sympathized with them. They could now see that he was not sad, but happy.

Because there was laughter mixed in Seongpil’s crying.

So, to add warmth to that joy, I put my hand on his back and stroked it, like a mother soothing her child.

Seongpil laughed and cried.

Just like Jang Ha-yang did three years ago under the September sun, I cried with joy.

The crystal and gold trophy shone like a heart in his arms.

* * *

“Team Leader, are you really okay?”

Shin Areum wiped his face with hands dripping with worry. His reddened eyes and nose looked like someone drunk.

“Yeah, ahem.”

Seongpil cried so much that his throat cracked. Even when he cleared his throat, he couldn’t make a proper sound.

“Oh, I really regret not taking a picture of you. I almost had a runny nose.”

Seongpil raised the corners of his mouth shyly. This was because he remembered crying in front of children much younger than him.

At that moment, Shin A-reum swung her arm like a whip and hit Jo A-ra on the shoulder. Jo A-ra let out an “Ouch!” sound and fell down, gasping for breath.

“Hey, why are you hitting me!”

“Where is this person! Where in the world is there someone who would cry so sincerely for our success! Instead of thanking the team leader, he would tease them?!”

Shin Areum almost went mad and chased Jo Ara. Rika and Baek Seol-ha held Shin Areum back and prevented her from approaching Jo Ara.

The context was strange, but Shin A-reum was upset. It was not her but Jang Ha-yang who comforted Seong-pil and made him smile.

And it was also unpleasant that I still didn’t know what Jang Ha-yang meant by what she said to Seong-pil. It was a story that couldn’t have come out like that unless there was something going on between the two.

Jo Ara turned her eyes from Shin A Reum, who was being over-the-top for no reason, to Seong Pil. Seong Pil was still sitting on the floor, wiping his face with a tissue.

‘Where is there anyone who cries like this over our success… … .’

Certainly, yes.

Even family wouldn’t be able to cry like that.

However, Joara thought that Shin A-reum was slightly off the right answer.

“mister.”

Jo Ara lifted the ‘Best Executive Producer Award’ trophy from the ground and held it in her arms again.

“congratulation.”

Seongpil had cried.

I am delighted with the success of the Girls’ League.

And, happy with his success.

“We are one of the three targets, and you are the best among the producers. You are better than us. So, congratulations.”

Joara wanted to tell him more. For example, something like, ‘It’s only natural that we receive the award since we were produced by the best producer, uncle.’

But I couldn’t do it.

It was hard to keep looking at Sungpil’s gaze as he held the trophy in his arms because it was so profound.

“Director… … .”

Snow White lifted the trophy from the ground and handed it over to Seongpil, just like Joara had done.

Her tear ducts burst belatedly. Only when Seongpil stopped crying did she realize the situation and shed tears of joy.

“Congratulations… … .”

“Thank you, Seolha. Everyone.”

Seongpil smiled brightly, holding the trophy in both hands. Then he stood up unsteadily. Jang Ha-yang quickly ran over and helped him up.

“Hayang, I’m okay now.”

Jang Ha-yang let go of Seong-pil’s arm.

Seongpil, who had barely managed to get up, looked around at the members of the Girls’ League.

“Ha, really, I have a lot to say.”

“Please give me as much as you can! I need praise!”

“Why are you here when you said you were going to the dorm? What if you lied about your destination? Is there something that would make our company’s management ability questionable?”

“Is that a tackle?! Kyung-Seop oppa knew!”

Oh, so that’s why you kept looking at your phone when you left the company. Maybe you heard about the Girls’ League’s activities from your managers.

“You can do it tomorrow… … .”

“It’s Director Park’s fault for staying late! If he had left work, it would have been different, but since he was at the office, this is how it turned out!”

“… … .”

Seongpil raised the corners of his mouth and looked at the trophies in his hands again. He held them carefully and spoke to the members.

“Thank you. You must be very tired, but you came to congratulate me. Let’s have the real congratulations tomorrow. The boss is going to spend a lot of money.”

“Hey, let’s go to a hotel buffet that costs 1 million won per person!”

“Let’s save that for tomorrow’s enjoyment. Anyway, thanks, and uh… … Then everyone, take care.”

“Huh? Director Park isn’t going?”

When Baek Seol-ha asked in confusion, Seong-pil nodded.

“Why would I stay here?”

“Correct answer.”

Joara raised her hand.

“I’m going to cry while watching our video.”

“Oh, right.”

“Then I’ve already cried enough, so should I just go?”

“No, I cried so much that I wanted to work.”

This crystal trophy was something Sungpil had longed for his entire life. He was overwhelmed with emotion when he held it in his hands. However, an even stronger emotion came over him.

The feelings that arose after stepping onto the peak.

‘I want to see higher.’

I haven’t reached the real summit yet, because I see people running alongside me.

They are all worthy of Sungpil’s respect. It is an honor just to run together. However, Sungpil wanted to surpass them all and become the unrivaled top.

‘I dare to go beyond.’

More than the desire for creation, the desire for victory surged within me.

“Is there… anything left to do?”

“Rika, have you forgotten?”

Rika thought deeply and then said, ‘Ah!’

“The ultimate album that will bring the world to its knees!”

“Yeah, main producer Rika appointed me as the album producer. I can’t rest even a little bit.”

“If Director Park wants, we can work overtime together!”

“are you okay.”

“The reaction is sharp.”

“Well, it’s not that I don’t want to rest, it’s more like I can’t rest by myself.”

It sounded like someone was working again. As everyone had questions in their heads, the office door opened and Han Gu-in came in.

“Are you finished?”

“Oh, yes. What about Director Han?”

“I’ve basically finished talking. If you’re going to spend time here, when will you come down…?”

“No, the kids are going to go now. I’ll stay here longer.”

“Huh? Director Han isn’t leaving work either?”

When Baek Seol-ha asked, Han Gu-in smiled awkwardly. He looked at Seong-pil. Seong-pil was also looking at Han Gu-in.

The two locked eyes and nodded simultaneously as if they had planned it.

“Yes, I have work to do.”

There’s still a long way to go to the top.