She Returned as a Vampire - Chapter 52



52 – Collapse

I managed to get some water and get out of the room.

If I were there, I probably wouldn’t be of much help.

Everything I do has brought him bad luck, so I… I…

What if the water wasn’t actually lukewarm?

What if it was too hot or too cold for him?

Oh no. I’ll have to check it one more time too.

“Ah, I’ve just arrived. Help me. My magic isn’t enough to remove all the cold air from his body, so-“

I’m not sure what you’re talking about. But water…

Are you cold? Is it warm Is this the right temperature for him?

“Hey, water, the water must be lukewarm…? Is it okay?”

“Water is not urgent. Come and help me. Quickly.”

“Ha, but the water made him- “

“His condition is worse than I thought to treat him with water, Mr. Hartfield. If you don’t come soon, you really could lose him.”

Lose, lose?

Isn’t it okay if you only have water or lukewarm water?

He said he could definitely save it, but he said he could definitely get it back.

But why are you talking like that?

“No, no… Niel – No…”

If I were there, would I be able to help him?

I’ve always messed things up, but wouldn’t it put him in danger if I stepped in?

Wouldn’t it hurt more if I approached him?

Maybe I shouldn’t be even one step closer to him?

I spent all my magic on ruining him,

My choice eventually led him to the brink of death… Until he died?

Dying?

He?

In this world, kill the person who saved me with my own hands?

Me, what do I do?

What kind of a monster am I?

I will become a lovable monster to him,

You said you would become a monster that helps him and protects him.

I said I would become a monster that embraces him, caresses him, and warms him in a dangerous world.

But why didn’t you do anything until this point?

“Calm down, please. Niel’s life is really in danger if you do this too – Oh, I don’t know. It can’t be helped…!”

You should have asked yourself several times.

You should always act carefully and calmly, as he did.

I should have always acted in the best way for him, looking back over and over again to see if it wasn’t always dangerous,

Look at him in front of you.

Look at him, whose skin has turned pale and hardened to the point where you don’t know if he’s breathing or not.

Do I feel anything while watching him?

Repressing his emotions, only love.

I only inflate the feelings that will be given to me.

Did you really do anything for him?

The reason why you settled down in this mansion was with the intention of putting him comfortably in your hands after all.

If his safety,

If you wanted to live a long, quiet life away from pursuit and avoid threats, you should have been prepared to run away for the rest of your life.

If he said he didn’t want to be hugged and that it wasn’t the time yet, he should have waited patiently.

Since he was always dedicated to me, I should have followed everything he said, thinking it was always the right answer.

Ignoring, evading, ignoring,

The path he walked was eventually his… His…

“As expected, no… I used too much force. I can’t do it with this – “

“Magic power, necessary, did you?”

“Did you finally come to your senses? Work, first of all… Cold air is filling your body, and it’s eating away at your life. Enough to pull it out – “

…It’s for him.

Even if it’s an unforgivable act,

Even if I get hated once again,

Because I’ve already done that and abandoned it.

So –

“Now… What are you doing -“

It’s cold lips.

My mouth is stiff, and everything inside is cold…

However, this is the best way to extract your cold air.

It’s okay even if you don’t believe it.

You can hate me when this is all over.

But for now, it will be the last time we kiss without your permission.

And, finally, it’s greedy to pamper.

I’m sorry, Niel.

I want you to know that I have never loved you until this day…

***

I remember sitting with her at her house one day and talking about doran doran.

The time when I was sipping warm tea in one sip and looking at the calmly burning fire.

What kind of feelings did I have for her at that time?

A longing? Admiration? Affection? Worship?

I fell in love with her figure who expressed her aspirations to run towards the end of power with a female body.

And she might have missed that face that smiled awkwardly as she accepted my help.

I watched her with a smile as she got used to me, pouring more warmth into her, who was not used to accepting her favors.

In the third year, everything was ruined from the moment she started taking it for granted.

And now…

Yes,

Your eyes can’t be warm. Even though I know that, I’m going to die soon after lying down, right?

I heard it sometime. You may have seen it written.

The news that adventurers suffering from extreme cold were found naked.

I wonder if the warmth I experienced was an outburst on the verge of death, or was it like mercy for a person who gave up everything to die comfortably for the last time?

Somehow, I wonder if I will end my life wrapped in this warmth…

But it feels strange that even the air feels warm at some point.

Feeling even the familiar scent makes me feel quite comfortable.

Besides, this feeling is a touch I know.

If it’s something that’s both sweet and sticky –

“Huh?”

As expected, it is she who is in front of her eyes.

She kept passing something through her mouth, for what-

Ah, was it for me?

Is it because of her magic that her body became so warm and comfortable?

Did he finally come back to find the frozen me?

“…Puha,”

Somehow it looks sad.

Why did her eyes seem to have complicated emotions?

She was always simple and sure,

Since I became inhuman, too many things have changed in an instant.

Besides, she seems to be on the edge of her precipice right now,

As if she would drop her body under it at any moment, her eyes didn’t contain any regrets, so it was frightening.

“…I don’t know what you’re thinking, but stop it.”

I grabbed the hand I wanted to let go of, but the fact that you couldn’t let me go means that you didn’t want this to end.

“Let go, please.”

“Never. Even risking my life, you, coloc, coloc – “

I’m afraid I’ll lose you because of the recoil of my cough.

“Please… Don’t let me hurt you any more.

I think I’ve already bothered you enough.

You won’t be able to take it any further. For sure…

Don’t allow me to live like that. Please, Niel, that’s enough already.”

With her voice mixed with her cries, I can’t help but hold her tighter as she shakes her hand as she squeezes her as if she’s screaming.

Even if her eyes are blurred,

Even if the power in her hand is slowly loosening.

“If I let go now, I’m sure I won’t be able to reach you forever.

Even if our relationship ended right here, this kind of behavior is unacceptable.

I can’t just let everything fall to pieces.

If this is the first woman you fell in love with, and in the end, if you are a person who has been ruined like this because of what happened to me,

I definitely think I have to fulfill my responsibility until the end.

So even if I let you go because I lack strength, I want you to wait.

If your heart is clear and I can open my eyes once more and see you again with a clear head,

At that time, let’s slowly go back and talk about everything about us, Elena.”

And then, like a lie, my hands lost their strength.

As I stared at the hand that had fallen off with my own eyes, I felt a rush of stress.

But… She seemed to take on something different from her.

“Oh, isn’t it? Niel, wait, it can’t be like this, Niel, no… No! No no!!!”

It’s okay, I’m just going to sleep for a while.

I want to tell you that I’m tired, so I just need to take a break.

I can feel the warmth of my body and my beating heart vividly thanks to all of them.

Nevertheless, I can’t help the rushing tide…

“Please, that’s a lie, right? I can’t let you go like this, like this!

I haven’t even apologized yet, I haven’t even been able to tell you I’m sorry!!

The favor received, the grace, the new life, the love,

By the way, but – not like this, no… Please, Niel, wake up…!”

Her screams fade, and her face blurs.

But my breath that does not weaken, the warmth of life that I can clearly feel,

Even while I was losing my mind like this, he made me feel alive.

It didn’t seem that way to her at all.

“Ah, ah… No… Like this – no, no…

How could I see you again,

There are so many things I haven’t said to you yet,

…Everybody, is it my fault?

Is it because of me that you lost the person you love the most…?”

The last words I heard from her were powerless.

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There was no emotion.

On the contrary, as if he had realized something, he was just spitting the words out of his mouth dejectedly.

And… Bumping her knees, I hugged her as she blankly stared at me and pulled her behind me.

The last thing I saw was Yuliana’s face as she looked at my veins with a very embarrassed face…

I fell into a deep darkness.

This time, no thread was tied to my body.