The Hero’s Brother Is Bound To Be Depressed - Chapter 232



233 – From lies

I left the capital’s portal station and took steps to return to the academy. Perhaps because it was late, there was no sign of popularity on the street.

In the dreary autumn streets where even the moonlight was obscured by clouds, all that could be heard was the whisper of trampled fallen leaves.

What Eunice said never left my mind. I thought he was good at letting it go with one ear, but his words seemed to have become thorns and remained in my heart.

This is because I unconsciously realized that what Eunice said, ‘being driven by the blind purpose of a returner,’ also applies to me.

So did I. He deceived everyone for the blind purpose of preventing the tragic story from starting and making everyone happy.

In order to prevent the spark of rebellion that started in the triathlon, I acted as I pleased without explaining anything to any of the members. It was an act of forcing understanding based on previous ‘beliefs’.

The seniors who participated in the triathlon were just swept up in my plan without any explanation or understanding. This is because I thought that the benefits of the result were greater than the damage that would occur during the process.

The reason for Eunice’s special transfer was not for her sake, but for my own purposes. There is no awareness that Eunice’s membership means making her life a difficult and thorny path. They are just trying to shamelessly take advantage of salvation that the person involved does not know about.

I blamed myself without realizing it.

“Is this why older brother and younger brother…?” .”

The night air is cold. So much so that pure white breath flows out. I smiled bitterly and put my hands in my pockets.

Can he confess the truth he has been hiding from Luna? In fact, would I be able to tell everything like that that this world is just a story in a novel I created, and that I am just a writer possessed by Ross?

Can I say that I truly love you, who is only a supporting character whose name does not even appear in the novel?

reveal the truth It’s simple to say, but difficult to put into practice. It is difficult considering the variables that will arise and the shock Luna will receive if she tells the truth. No, you can make many excuses, but the truth is the same.

Because they know that it is convenient to maintain the current lie.

There is no need to hope for understanding or ask for persuasion. Under the pretext of bad conscience, one can cover up the hard shell of lies.

There is no awareness that you are deceiving the other person. I just realize that it’s more like a white lie for the sake of a relationship. Born from lies, this was the absolute truth I learned throughout my life.

That’s why I became a writer. Because I could lie more believably than anyone else.

But I don’t feel comfortable lying anymore. Absolute truth is being shaken. Luna’s presence constantly reminds me that my lies are wrong.

The reason is simple. He didn’t want to lie to her because he loved her.

Lying to Luna, who completely believes in me, whom I love, means that I am doing the same thing as my mother. I just wanted to deny that.

When I was about 11 years old, my parents, who had a rocky relationship, divorced. It would have been nice if the reason had been a simple personality difference, but it revealed the ugly lies her mother had been hiding.

The person I used to call dad became uncle through a piece of mail that came to my house. Since he became a stranger by blood overnight, it would be more appropriate to call him uncle rather than father.

The man cried. It was the first time I realized that an adult could sob like that. I had to watch, speechless, as the person who had always been reliable and sincere collapsed endlessly.

Mom left home. She later said that she heard that she went back to my real dad, with whom she had been in a relationship until then, and they broke up shortly after. Since then, her mom says, she’s had a few trashy boyfriends.

I didn’t want to know, but my mother, who occasionally visited me, had a habit of getting drunk and lamenting about her life. The lament ended, like a cliche, with ‘If only you had never been born.’

My mom abandoned me, but my uncle never abandoned me. For several years, we lived in a suffocating atmosphere without much conversation. Still, I thought we had adapted to each other.

It became a relationship where I couldn’t offer words of comfort or even say I love you… Still, we lived together.

I thought the reason he didn’t look into my eyes was simply because he was embarrassed to see me cry.

I deceived myself by not lending a shoulder for the man who was falling apart like that to lean on.

After the high school entrance ceremony, I received a call from a detective telling me that my uncle had committed suicide.

I didn’t feel like I was crying while holding my phone or my heart was falling like in dramas or novels.

I just calmly wrote down the address the detective had called me to find.

I identified the uncle’s body and held a funeral with the help of a detective. I didn’t cry until the funeral was over.

I felt so calm that I felt strange about myself.

The house I lived in was rented on a monthly basis, so it was large and expensive for a high school student to live alone. While I was packing up my belongings to move to a cheaper gosiwon, I opened the closet to throw away my uncle’s clothes, took them out, and found a beautifully wrapped gift box.

The number of boxes taken out was 6. They were all different sizes, but they all had one thing in common: my name was written on them. The gift box, which appeared to be the most recent, had this written in poor handwriting:

[Happy birthday to my son, Sian, who is now 17 years old.]

It’s just text written on cheap packaging. But I cried. I cried endlessly like a baby who doesn’t know how to stop crying.

Actually, I knew it. If things continue like this, you might die.

From noble mtl dot com

After that day, the man’s strong body dried up and his cheeks became hollow. Because I drank alcohol every day, my rough breath made me feel anxious. I turned away, pretending not to notice that her lifeless eyes occasionally glanced at me.

This is because I thought that an uncomfortable and false relationship was more comfortable.

Just by fooling myself into thinking that nothing would happen, I didn’t have to worry about being rejected if I approached them first, or being afraid that they would think I was acting like a son, even though I wasn’t related by blood.

Although we are not related by blood, you and I are very similar. We knew what to say to each other. You shouldn’t keep it in a closet for years or shove it in a corner of your mind.

My mother thoroughly and meticulously deceived my father, who loved her. So I hated her mother. Even though she was of the same blood, I thought she was different.

But you can’t fool blood, so I’m fooling my beloved Luna. They tell lies and make excuses, hoping that our relationship will have no cracks at all.

He is an idiot who keeps his mouth shut out of fear, even though he has learned the painful lesson not to shove what he has to say to a corner of his mind.

I know.

As if he was silently waiting for me to call him daddy again.

Luna is silently waiting for me to tell her the secret I’m hiding.

The whispering of fallen leaves stopped. They arrived at their destination, the main gate of the academy. The security engineer looked at my face and wordlessly opened the small iron cage door next to the front door.

Thanks to my reputation as Roel’s younger brother, I was able to go in without any restrictions even though my outing time was over.

I said “Thank you for your hard work” to the driver and walked towards the academy’s main building where the club room was located.

Next week, all academic schedules will end and the long winter vacation will begin. It was time to say goodbye to everyone again.

Someone was standing in front of the main building. Although I couldn’t recognize her face because of the distance, I instinctively knew it was Luna. I guess he was waiting for me to come back again.

I hurried my steps. Luna was breathing bright white, and her cheeks were red, as if she had been outside for a while. A strange feeling warms her heart at the sight of her.

I wanted to run to Luna, but my worries from earlier made my steps heavy.

I am still frozen in that moment when I was 11 years old. Although I was so sad and regretful about losing my uncle, I did not grow at all.

I am afraid that this happiness will end. It is so precious, and even more so because it is too much for me. It takes a lot of courage to leave behind a false, comfortable path and take a path where you cannot predict what will happen.

As I stopped walking, lowered my head, and hesitated, I heard a sound in front of me.

“It’s hot, so be careful with the roof of your mouth!”

It was Aria’s excited voice. When she looked up, Aria was holding out her smoky sweet potato to Luna.

Huhu – Luna, who took a bite of the sweet potato, laughed and said it was delicious, and Aria was seen taking a bite of the sweet potato too, making a fuss.

“hey! “I have to give it to the person who roasted it first!”

“There are people who eat, and there are people who bake. “Hurry and bake more before Ross comes!”

“Oh, just do that.”

When I turned my head to where I heard Kane’s voice, I saw Kane making a small fire and squatting down with Rakar, roasting sweet potatoes.

Luna wasn’t the only one waiting for me. Rakar, Kane, and Aria were also waiting for me to return.

Why? I feel strange.

They are friends who are not related by blood. We haven’t been together for a long time. Once you graduate from the academy, you might not even see each other again. But strangely enough, I regained feelings from them that I had lost a long time ago.

A feeling of ‘family’ that I thought I would never feel again.

The mind moves as it pleases. I took a step and walked briskly to where the members were.

It is a confident and powerful step.

Luna, who found me, spoke in a happy voice.

“Ross!”

The voices of the members were heard behind Luna, who was running towards her with small strides as if she were being hugged.

“Oh, Ross is here! “Give me that at least!”

“Hey, I endured the heat and peeled the skin just so I could eat it!”

“Let’s give the manager first. “Because there are a lot of sweet potatoes.”

I hugged Luna tightly and held her cold hand. I wonder if she’s just happy that I’m back, hehe – I also smiled at Luna’s smiling face.

Members carrying warm sweet potatoes approached me. At Aria’s urging to eat it quickly, I took a bite.

“how is it! Kill me! “This is the famous honey sweet potato in the North!”

As Aria said, it was a delicious sweet potato that definitely tasted sweet.

“It’s delicious.”

“right? Come on, let’s quickly grill the carne and lacarte who lost the bet some more.”

Kane grumbled at Aria’s words, and Rakar, whose face was covered in soot, laughed awkwardly. I took a deep breath and then he spoke.

“… “I have something to confess to you guys.”