The Hero’s Brother Is Bound To Be Depressed - Chapter 286



287 – Hypocrite

My vision changed, as if what I had to show was over. The area around me has turned into a franchise cafe that I used to frequent when I was Jin Xian. I sat at a table with Jin Xian in an empty cafe with no employees or customers.

Jin Xian spoke in a blunt voice to me as I narrowed my eyes trying to understand what I had just seen.

“As I said before, you don’t have to immediately understand what you just saw.”

At those words, I looked at Jin Xian with absurd eyes. I have obtained a clue to answer the questions I have had about Roel so far. Isn’t it natural to be concerned if the main character of a novel has a secret that the author doesn’t know about?

Jin Xian must have read my thoughts, and one corner of his mouth twitched.

“You weren’t blinded by Roel’s secret and forgot that this was a trap prepared by the cult leader, right?”

I couldn’t help but bite my lip at the sharp question. Jin Xian’s point was right. I was blinded by the secret that Roel was hiding, and didn’t pay attention to the cult leader’s real purpose in showing it to me.

“There is no need to fret if you don’t find the answer right away. Because you were a great character who carried the story well even without me. “Maybe the saint calculated that she could get the ending she wanted even if she excluded me.”

“… .”

“Still, if I were to give you one piece of advice, the cult leader wanted to let you know that Roel has a secret that no one knows about. I guess I intentionally tried to show this to you at that point. There must be an insidious intention behind that action. “Think about that.”

After finishing giving advice, Jin Xian leaned back on a chair with soft cushions. Seeing him slightly raising his head and closing his eyes, I asked him what was on his mind.

“… If you become one with me, will you disappear?”

In response to my question, Jin Xian closed his eyes and snorted.

“You and I were never separated in the first place. That’s why you couldn’t exclude me from your soul and hid me deep inside. “It’s not about disappearing, it’s about becoming whole.”

Jin Xian opened his eyes. And she looked at me with narrowed eyes, as if glaring.

“You think too much. Sometimes, we try to see things from different perspectives due to worry and anxiety that should be seen intuitively. As the saying goes, no plan is a plan, so it is better to think simply when it comes to matters related to the mind. Because guilt is only an obstacle to you.”

I shook my head at Jin Xian’s words. It’s true that I think a lot, but when it comes to guilt, I also have something to say.

“But even when I was Jin Xian, I shed tears over other people’s sadness. I have never maliciously harassed anyone, and I have never hit anyone. “It is completely natural for humans to feel sad when someone who has done nothing wrong dies.”

As soon as I finished speaking, Jin Xian glared at me with a gaze bordering on contempt and said,

“Now I know how disgusting you are.”

“what?”

“Are you sure you don’t even remember how many people you killed?”

I couldn’t answer Jin Xian’s question as he twitched one corner of his mouth.

“You were the one who went to the Sixth Prince’s villa and killed the people. He was so angry that he lost his temper and killed everyone in the villa. Soldiers and servants alike. Among the people you killed, there was probably a soldier who followed orders from superiors without knowing anything, and there was also a mother of a child who started working as a servant to help the family even a little. But you didn’t feel any guilt because you were ‘a subordinate of the Sixth Prince who followed the Demon King.’ No, on the contrary, you felt proud of what you did, thinking it was justice.”

When I couldn’t come up with any excuse, Jin Xian continued to say something in an absurd voice after a short silence.

“Someone might misunderstand that Jin Xian is an apostle of justice. This is the idiot who lied and said he didn’t know because he was too busy to pay for the relief money and that a funeral was held for an acquaintance he knew. Has he never hit or bullied anyone? “Are you the one who secretly peeked at other people’s diaries, created rumors that didn’t exist, gossiped about them, and was happy when other writers went bankrupt and sympathized with them through comments?”

Jin Xian ended his sentence by looking at me with eyes full of contempt.

“Even the mercenaries who followed Tarantra and the believers of the church who were by Dewin’s side. “It seems like everyone you killed has committed a crime so worthy of death that you don’t feel the slightest sense of guilt.”

There was silence at the table. Jin Xian was glaring at me as if asking me to answer, and I was rubbing my eyebrows, trying to find something to say.

“… But they tried to kill me.”

“Yes, I tried to kill you so I killed you without any reason. He can’t even remember the face of the person he killed. “Why would a guy like that shed so many tears because a kid whose name he barely knew was killed by Roel?”

Jin Xian’s sarcasm made me cry and scream.

“Because she wasn’t guilty of anything!”

“I don’t know, maybe her parents are actually church officials. Who knows, maybe he turned over the house he lived in as a hideout to Compsion?”

I chewed my lip and spoke at Jin Xian’s sarcastic voice.

“… “That’s absurd.”

“But you were just conflicted. Just because the child belonged to a religious cult changes your perception from ‘a child who should not have died like this without any sin’ to ‘a child who can die’. “Just as a person who would not have died if he had not been in the Sixth Prince’s villa died to you just because he was in the Sixth Prince’s villa.”

“… So what do you want to hear? “Are you saying that a guy who casually kills bad guys can’t grieve over the death of a child?”

Jin Xian snorted and brought his upper body closer to me.

“This is an extension of what I said earlier. Making me realize how good a choice it was to be with me. “I can solve your disgusting contradiction.”

“… “How can you?”

In response to my question, Jin Xian shrugged his shoulders as if it were a light joke.

“You just have to accept it. What a disgusting hypocrite you are. He is a sick hypocrite who carelessly kills people with an arbitrary sense of justice, but sheds tears and feels guilt and regret over the death of a child whose name he does not know. Like I said, let’s think simple. We’re just murderers. Where is right and wrong in murder? In the end, the only reason I killed people was for my own survival and to seek benefit for someone else.”

I gritted my teeth and answered Jin Xian’s words.

“… I knew I was a hypocrite. “The scale inside me is a broken scale whose balance cannot be maintained even if there is only one person I must protect, even if tens of thousands of people are placed on the other side!”

“Then why are you so devastated by Roel’s actions of sacrificing a child to kill Confsion? Roel’s behavior is exactly the same as what you said? “That child was just on the opposite side of the scale from what Roel wanted to protect.”

Jin Xian’s sharp words made me feel like the words were disappearing from my mouth. Roel’s actions of trying to kill Confsion by impaling the child with a great sword without any hesitation… There was no difference with the logic I was talking about. If it’s to protect Luna… I would have done the same.

Jin Xian twisted the corner of his mouth as if he was laughing and said with a smile.

“Stop being stupid and lying to yourself. It’s even more ugly to call yourself a hypocrite and call yourself a hypocrite. Just ask one question and answer honestly. “Can you kill a female student attending the academy without reason?”

I shook my head in response to Jin Xian’s question. I am not a crazy person who kills people for no reason. All the people I killed were people whose survival was a source of harm to others.

“Then what if that girl is actually the cult leader’s fatal weakness, and with her death, we can reach an ending where everyone can be happy?”

“… “If that’s the case, there’s nothing we can do.”

After a short silence, he answered with difficulty, and Jin Xian laughed out loud.

“What if that girl was actually Luna?”

“You b*stard!”

Without realizing it, I grabbed Jin Xian’s collar. As he raised his body and pulled his fist back as if to strike, Jin Xian said with a sneer.

“This is your hypocrisy. “If it is someone who is not related to you, you think of killing it for gain, and if it is someone you have a connection with, you throw a fit.”

“That’s natural! Since becoming Ross, I have lived for Luna! “You know that wanting an ending for everyone who is precious to me is all in return for what Luna has done for me!”

When I shouted that in an angry voice, Jin Xian made eye contact with me with cold eyes and said,

“Even if the girl is not Luna, to some people she will be just like Luna. “She may be someone you cherish and want to protect, a child you worry about being sick somewhere, or someone’s dear lover.”

As Jin Xian continued to speak, I felt my hand holding my collar losing strength. When she thought that the girl I had decided to kill meant the same thing to someone as Luna, she suddenly felt nauseous from deep inside.

“Roel’s definition is firm. Even his own lover is killed and used for his goal of justice. He feels guilty, as if his heart is being torn out, but it doesn’t stop him. That’s why he doesn’t feel hypocrisy in his actions.”

Jin Xian pushed away my hand that was holding my collar and continued speaking with sharp eyes.

“But you call yourself a hypocrite, and in fact you cling to the hero mold that the saint put in your head. A hero who only kills bad guys. But I am a hypocrite who would harm others for the sake of someone precious to me. That’s why there is a contradiction in your actions. “Because I can do things that I wouldn’t be able to do if I were Luna.”

I sat down on the chair as if my legs were giving out strength. Jin Xian approached me and said.

“If you want to be at least on an equal footing with Roel, you too must change like that. You will sacrifice tens of thousands of innocent people for your goal of protecting precious people… It takes more than just words, it requires a firm decision. Just as he gave the main character endless trials for fun, the author set the continent on the verge of destruction to make Roel’s ending shine even brighter. That is what I can give you.”