The Villainess Whom I Had Served for 13 Years Has Fallen - Chapter 390



390 – The Times Consumed by Revenge -11-

-In the story where you lost your light, ‘Ricardo’ was shining brilliantly.

The blue window was saying.

When I lost my light, Ricardo was shining brilliantly.

-The sorrow of losing Olivia still lingered in his heart, but Ricardo was able to overcome that sorrow through some ‘trigger’.

-He could shine even more. Much more than in the days when he walked with Olivia. To the extent that he stood shoulder to shoulder with those who left their names in the academy, no, perhaps even more brilliantly.

In the past, I wouldn’t have understood the words of the blue window. It was absurd to say that he, who always showed a foolish side, was a genius.

But.

If I recall the way he had shown himself so far, I could understand why the blue window praised Ricardo.

Ricardo.

-Since he let Olivia go, he did not hide his strength.

Because he had been hiding his strength.

The blue window, which showed me the reading, was talking about Ricardo’s greatness as if it were a fan of Ricardo.

And it was also casually talking about the story of how I came to rely on Ricardo in the reading.

-He embraced you, who had failed. More than before… he took care of you.

‘…’

-Who would have known. That he would reach out to you, who had failed.

Shartia sighed deeply and spoke to the blue window.

‘What do you want me to do.’

Why are you showing me this.

In the reading room, she had been smiling for quite a long time, holding the bouquet Ricardo had handed her. She was holding the bouquet so preciously, as if it were very precious, so that the flowers would not be damaged.

I was annoyed.

I didn’t want to hold out my hand in sympathy.

At the same time.

– Kwoooaaah…

I was strangely envious of my own face in the happy reading.

‘What are you trying to say?’

Shalltear spoke in a sharp voice towards the blue window that only showed incomprehensible things. She had to know why it was showing her this.

‘Is it telling me to strive for a better future, or! To awaken so that such a future doesn’t come…! I don’t know… Shouldn’t it at least tell me the reason before starting?!’

Shalltear glared at the blue window, holding back her resentment.

But the blue window did not grant Shalltear’s wish and continued to silently tell the ‘story that no one knows,’ the story that only it knew.

– Ricardo was consistent.

The scene in the reading changed.

– Even if you went through sad things.

The exact appearance described by the blue window was unfolding before her eyes.

The way I looked when I was struggling.

The way I looked in the reading, sitting in a place where everything was twisted and no one was around, wiping away my tears. It was showing me that right in front of my eyes.

– Are you okay?

– If you came to mock me, get lost. I’m tired now.

– …I came to invite you out? The weather is nice today, so let’s go do some volunteer work together.

– …What?

– I was lucky enough to get a disciplinary action today.

– You…!

– Heh!

When my complicated emotions calmed down, it showed me sitting alone in the dark classroom.

– Mom…

– …Mom

– …I miss you.

When sadness welled up and my breathing became rough, it showed me again with Ricardo, letting me know his importance.

Cruelly.

Really… cruelly.

– When you were attacked by Onyu’s apostle, it would have been a disaster if he hadn’t been there. You were really weak back then.

The moment you saw him opening the door to find you pitifully hiding in the closet.

Ironically.

‘…Drip.’

Tears fell.

Why?

Why am I doing this?

It’s something I don’t remember.

It didn’t even happen.

Why…

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

Shaltia couldn’t understand.

From one to ten. The things the blue window showed were things that weren’t in her memory.

But why…

‘Ah…’

Why does her chest feel so tight?

Shaltia, touching her chest, opened her trembling eyes and looked at the scene in front of her.

– Why are you crying again? Like a fool.

– Who said I was crying?

– Hmm… Is that so?

The sight of him sitting silently next to her, who was sitting alone.

It wasn’t a big deal, it wasn’t a disaster. Just seeing Ricardo silently being there made her heart ache.

Yes, as if. As if she remembered a pain hidden deep in her heart.

‘What is this…!!!’

Her chest hurt.

She couldn’t look straight at the scene in front of her as if she didn’t want to see it.

She hadn’t committed any crime.

She hadn’t done anything to Ricardo, so why did she feel this way?

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‘Why am I like this… You should at least tell me!!!’

She couldn’t understand.

The Blue Spear continued speaking without waiting for Shartia, and perhaps began to utter the words she least wanted to hear.

-You wanted to possess him.

When the Blue Spear first appeared to her, it began to voice the hypothesis she had once considered.

-You hoped that he, who was more outstanding than anyone at the academy, would be on your side. At the same time, you hoped that he, who possessed exceptional martial prowess, would protect you.

-Selfish, isn’t it?

-Shameless selfishness.

The Blue Spear began to reveal her ugly side, repeating the word ‘selfish.’

Really.

‘…Stop.’

She was annoyed.

-More than anything, you wanted him to stay by your side. You wanted him, who gifted you with smiles during hellish days, to be with you.

-So, the moment he handed you the bouquet at the graduation ceremony.

Her vision shifted, and the face holding the bouquet at the graduation ceremony appeared once again.

And then…

The self in the vision once again made the current self ugly.

She heard the voice of her heart.

Along with the voice of the Blue Spear.

A vile desire echoed as her heart sank.

(I want to possess him…)

-You truly began to covet him.

Her pupils trembled.

She couldn’t believe that she, who had fallen into such a deep abyss, would say such things.

‘Covet him… What are you talking about…?’

-You had nothing to give to Ricardo.

‘…It’s strange. Why…?’

-She was anxious about not being able to stay by his side after the graduation ceremony, but there was nothing she could give him.

‘Why…’

Emotions ignited.

‘Why are you saying that!!! It’s not me! It’s…! It’s not me!!’

The Blue Spear ignored Shartia’s words and continued the vision.

‘Stop…’

-The perspective changes.

“…Please, just stop.”

-To the place where we made our first pact.

‘I get it…’

-To the day when your selfishness danced.

‘I know I’m bad…’

-The perspective changes.

Maybe I knew it from the beginning.

The ‘me’ in the reading.

That it was really ‘me’.

*

A field of white irises.

Having finished the graduation ceremony, Shaltia sat in the iris field, exhaling softly.

It was the last time.

To spend such moments.

To be protected within the confines of the academy. It would all end after today.

“Ricardo.”

“Yes?”

Even spending time with him like this.

Shaltia looked at Ricardo with eyes full of regret, thinking that fool only ever did things that caused him loss.

Thinking about Ricardo’s consideration, whose reputation must be declining the more time he spent with her, made her heart ache. She never thought the bond that started in their first year would grow this much.

“Why do you call someone and then say nothing?”

“…”

“Have you perhaps fallen for my handsome face?”

“…”

I am greedy.

I want to keep him by my side, the one who reaches out to me when I’ve lost everything.

Even though I can’t do anything for him.

I like the time he calmly spends by my side, so bad thoughts keep creeping in.

Anyway, today will be the last day.

“Sigh…”

“The ground will sink.”

“Why would the ground sink…?”

“There’s a saying that if you sigh, the ground will sink.”

“You say strange things often. You.”

“Isn’t that my charm?”

“Whatever.”

Because of my gloomy mood, nonsense keeps coming out. I want to say goodbye with a smile.

“This is the end now.”

The voice of my heart, full of regret,

“Really… it’s the end.”

comes out without passing through my thoughts.

I clenched my fist.

I knew it was impossible, but I wanted to ask him a question with a glimmer of hope.

“Hey.”

“Yes.”

“Ricardo, do you have anything you want to do after graduation?”

“What?”

“Just. I’m curious.”

“Why are you asking me a constructive question all of a sudden? The person who usually asks where to drink today…”

“Because you’re such a troublemaker, I wanted to give you some life advice as a senior.”

“…So that’s how I looked.”

I clenched my fist and waited for Ricardo’s answer. I hoped that what he wanted to do would be the same as what I wanted to do.

“I’m planning to leave the empire now.”

“…Leave the empire?”

“Yeah. I want to travel after leaving the empire. Honestly, I don’t think there’s a place for me in this empire anymore… haha!”

“…Have you given up on being the emperor?”

– Crack…

“I have no choice but to give up… I might not even keep my head… And there’s no one left to help me.”

“There’s no other way. Then I’ll…!”

“So…!”

I cut off Ricardo’s words, stretching as I glanced at him. He probably had no more expectations from this empire. With a heart full of uncertainty and hope, I mustered the courage to ask him a question.

“I’m planning to go to the Frederica Empire and live as an adventurer…”

“I…”

“Yes.”

My fists clenched.

His silent demeanor was so terrifying that I nervously glanced at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice my sweat.

But.

“I think I’ll stay in the capital and work.”

“…”

It was not unexpected.

My heart sank, trembling. I shouldn’t ask, but useless questions kept coming to mind.

“Why…?”

“Well… I wonder.”

“Is there a need to stay in the empire…?”

“I want to revive the Desmond family.”

“…”

“It’s a place that fell because of me, isn’t it? If I had done better… if I had worked harder… Haha… I must be talking nonsense.”

My mind was racing.

I should give up.

Strangely, his words made me feel like I had a chance, and my grip loosened.

Because of the dependence on ‘I don’t want to lose.’

“Really…?”

I thought of a way to hold onto him.

A sudden idea struck me.

A way to be with him.

And at the same time, a selfish thought to unleash the desire I had given up on.

So I told him.

A lie born of uncontrollable desire.

“You know.”

I spat at him cruelly.

“When you become emperor, you are granted the right to choose one of the national treasures….”

Words that should never have been spoken.

“One of the national treasures is said to have the power to bring the dead back to life….”

That day, I didn’t see Ricardo’s expression.

“…”

Not the face of someone deceived by a lie.

But Ricardo’s bitter smile.

“Is that so?”

He probably knew.

“I’d like to hear more about that story….”

It seemed he knew from the beginning that I was lying.