The World I Was Supporting Was Real - Chapter 83



83. Hmm… is that all, then?

* * *

‘Hmm… ‘

I stared at the final frame of Ares offering his prayer for a long time.

It was strange.

Somehow, seeing the results of the sponsorship, I felt different than I’d initially imagined.

Having seen the short comic depicting Ares’s past, I could tell.

He might be smiling, but if necessary, he was someone who could, without hesitation, stab not only his mother Eirene, but also his older sister, Juliana Linea —

And even sacrifice the lives of the nobles who cooperated with him, if that was necessary to achieve his ‘great cause.’ Regardless of his intentions, he possessed a profoundly dangerous ideology.

It’s just that, the religious order’s methods, for the moment, happen to align with his ultimate goal—to create a world for everyone—so he isn’t doing anything right now.

Especially, Eirene’s existence was completely incompatible with Ares’s ideal world. The very presence of the Empire’s Empress must feel like an impurity to him.

In a ‘worldline where Eirene gets schooled,’ it was Ares, not someone else, who made her a sacrifice for the new era, and I was fairly confident of this.

The method I used to win Ares over—

That was to create a being who would fully understand him.

You could say it was like filling the desires and calming the dissatisfaction of a reckless youth, desperate for recognition, and willing to consider dangerous means?

Making him taste, only for a limited time, the friend he dreams of in his ideal world, and driving him crazy with longing.

In a way, this was my own form of ‘how dare you try to touch Eirene?’ kind of schooling of Ares.

It might be a bit too much for Ares—but on one hand, I thought, ‘It’s just a comic, not reality.’

Besides, Ares is a character I just met, and Eirene is a character I’m extremely fond of, right?

Whose side would I take? Naturally, it’s only simple to take Eirene’s side and act on that.

Actually, I didn’t even anticipate that the nun I sent would end up on such a weirdly ambiguous note with Ares before their time was up…

Anyway, I thought that seeing him go ‘Waaah, I won’t think any weird things, I’ll be good, please let me see the nun again,’ I’d honestly feel a surge of dopamine.

You know those common ‘cider’ scenes in comics or web novels? I was imagining something like that, and sponsored them with the mindset of, ‘Ares, do you dare defy God? Here’s some straight-up fact-flavor!’

‘I thought that would be fun.’

So,

How bad was it, you ask? —

‘This really isn’t very fun.’

It was truly strange.

Even seeing Ares beg, I didn’t feel any joy, no dopamine rush.

Instead, it was just… some kind of ‘Is this really the right thing to do?’ thought that wouldn’t leave.

I gulped down cold water.

I mean, Ares did have ideologies that were hard for me to accept.

No matter how righteous his cause might be, I believed that whether or not to sacrifice oneself for it should be up to each individual’s choice.

How many people would actually hear things like, “You shouldn’t exist. So dying here is for everyone’s sake” or “For the sake of all, I’ll man up and die right here”, and respond with, “Oh, I see it’s a problem that I was born in the first place. If it’s for the good of all, then I will die cleanly and without regret.” and then calmly face their death?

Even so, I couldn’t help but feel concerned.

That sight of him kneeling and praying to me.

It felt like I was inflicting too harsh a punishment on someone who had only thought about it, someone who hadn’t actually done anything directly yet—

So, pity.

Right now, I was honestly feeling pity for a comic book character.

And that was towards a character that might end up killing one of my favorite characters.

It’s just a comic, I might be too invested…

But even so, shouldn’t a god try their best to reform and guide rather than resorting to straight punishment and “tough love”?

‘At this rate, am I not going to mistakenly think I’m a real god myself in a few months?’

I chuckled and reached for a cigarette, then stopped myself.

Actually, I was already entering my second week of quitting smoking.

Why? Because I figured God couldn’t be swayed by just one cigarette.

…Already, the thought that I was playing ‘God’ way too earnestly made me chuckle again—

‘Yeah. I need to change direction a bit.’

Even if I sent another term-limited nun to the backwoods, it’d be meaningless unless Ares fundamentally changed his mind, wouldn’t it?

It wasn’t so much about the thought that Ares’s ideas were wrong, so I should correct them. More that, I wanted him to see how brutally absolute a type of ‘justice,’ which he never even questions, can be in certain situations.

[PleaseGiveMeMoney: How was this episode?]

[PleaseGiveMeMoney: It seems Iggugodun’s ‘Divine Power’ is definitely working in changing Ares’ mind]

[PleaseGiveMeMoney: If this keeps up, we might see Ares kneeling before God’s plain facts, experiencing a collapse of faith.]

[Iggugodun: Writer.]

[PleaseGiveMeMoney: Yes?]

[Iggugodun: It’s kind of ridiculous for me to say this myself but…]

[Iggugodun: It seems like God made a misjudgment.]

[PleaseGiveMeMoney: What do you mean by that, Iggugodun-nim?]

[PleaseGiveMeMoney: Iggugodun-nim is the only god, perfect in all things.]

[PleaseGiveMeMoney: A misjudgment from Iggugodun-nim is impossible.]

[Iggugodun: Nah, lol. What’s a god? [They can make misjudgments]

[Iggugodun: If I made a mistake, it’s a problem that can be fixed.]

[PleaseGiveMeMoney: Correcting a mistake…]

[Iggugodun: Anyway]

[Igwogeodon: The original plan, as I said… was to keep subtly trying to rope Ares in with these short-term sponsorships, right?]

[Igwogeodon: Like, I’d set him up with some buddies so he wouldn’t go overboard…that kind of vibe.]

[Igwogeodon: I’m canceling it.]

[GiveMeMoney: That’s fine by me, but…are you sure about this?]

[GiveMeMoney: Like I said, Ares is a long-term threat to those blessed by the gods, including Miss Eirene.]

[GiveMeMoney: Even if it’s not now, we can’t rule out the possibility that the gods will have to take action someday.]

What if, somehow, things play out and Ares goes for Eirene’s throat?

Ares’ life would be over that very day. At least, as long as I, a god, am looking down on the world.

I knew that too. Even so…

I was the kind of person who believed that people can change.

[Igwogeodon: I saw it in a manga,]

[Igwogeodon: Seems like Ares has awakened to love.]

Honestly, the biggest reason why I felt sympathy was because Ares seemed to have truly fallen in love with the nun I sent.

I’d completely misjudged the situation thinking he’d just see her as some kind of ‘idealized female friend’ since she was wearing nun’s clothing.

But hey, isn’t love an important value?

If we were to call that a simple fact, it’s like Ares has already independently reached that simple fact.

[Igwogeodon: I think if he has this feeling of ‘love’]

[Igwogeodon: He might…reconsider the purpose he’s holding onto.]

[GiveMeMoney: Reconsider, you mean…?]

[Igwogeodon: Uh…how do I put it…]

[Lee Guo-guodun: I think the reason I can be so unaffected by someone’s sacrifice is because I don’t really love anyone, you know?]

[Lee Guo Guo Dun: Because falling in love with someone is inherently a weakening thing]

[Give me some money: Loving someone is a weakening thing, is that what you’re saying]

[Lee Guo Guo Dun: Well, it’s not necessarily a bad thing]

[Lee Guo Guo Dun: Because only people who have been weakened can understand and care for other weak people]

‘Damn. I’m sorry.’

Even as I spat it out, I felt this surge of middle school angst rising up…

Ironically, feeling myself so easily embodying this god-like persona, shamelessly spouting these words, was way more enjoyable than watching Ares beg for my favor.

[Lee Guo-guodun: Anyway… now that I’ve gotten this fondness for the nun, let’s use it in a different way]

My original plan was this:

Continually keep her yearning for me, and the second she seems to waver, immediately cut off my power to manipulate her as I please.

And, the direction of this change – was to give her the space to think.

Including ending the relationship with the nun, which will ultimately be temporary.

‘This might not even work.’

Actually.

The easiest way, right now, would probably be just to send Erin and make the bible go *click-click* –

But, now that we’re here, I want to create a world where ‘they can feel the efficacy of God’s existence without needing to be forcibly influenced by my power’.

Because, well, that sounds a lot more fun, right?

Just doing the same *click-click* thing all the time gets boring real quick.

[ Lee Guo Guo Dian : Is it okay? ]

[ Lee Guo-guodun: I’m a bit sorry for suddenly twisting the work’s direction again… ]

[Give me money: It hurts my feelings when you say it like that, Lee Gwo Gwo Don-nim]

[Give me money: Don’t ask ‘is it okay’, just tell us ‘do it this way’ ]

[Give me money: As long as we’re granted divine power, we’ll follow Lee Gwo Gwo Don-nim’s will no matter what]

I was about to say they could just upload it if they already had the next chapter drawn—

‘No.’

Instead, I decided to tack on a little extra to cover the cost of re-drawing it—

And slowly placed my hand on the keypad, inputting the amount.

* * *

Always, at a certain time—

Exactly three times, *knock knock knock*. A knocking sound with the same rhythm echoed.

It was a sound that had become familiar, a habit that was recognized far too quickly.

If I excitedly opened the door, Karen, neatly dressed in her nun’s habit, would greet me with a smile as bright as sunshine.

“Your Highness! Hello! Shall we talk with your sister again today?”

“Yes, I’d like that. Sister.”

Truthfully, the conversations we had were nothing special, mostly just small talk.

Only very briefly, would talk about religion ever come up.

Even then, we’d subtly avoid talking about the dogma itself.

The content was limited to things like how much the Lee Gwo Gwo Don Cathedral had changed, or how the members of the Imperial family, including Eirene, and many retainers were testifying to the divine, raw truth, things of that nature.

The shorter moments of conversation,

the longer the time spent playing games with her became.

She had said that all of this was just part of the process of learning ‘plain facts.’

Honestly, I still don’t really know what she meant… but Ares didn’t care, as long as he could do something with her.

“Aah! I lost again… I just can’t win.”

“No. This is a game I taught you the rules to… I’m more skilled because I’m the one who taught it. Besides, Sister is incredibly good at chess.”

“Is that so? I don’t think I’m that great, but it feels good to be praised by someone as wonderful as you, Your Highness!”

Karen’s face, smiling softly as she said that, was still vivid in his mind.

Now he had to admit it.

That smile had shaken him, even just a little.

Was she extraordinarily beautiful? Honestly, she wasn’t.

It wasn’t that she looked were lacking. Many would describe her as cute—that kind of feeling to her appearance—but

the problem was, all his life Ares had been surrounded by women with royal DNA, like Eirene, Linea, and Yuria.

Eirene, his stepmother, who could easily be called the most beautiful woman in the Empire, yet whose cold and sharp nature inspired fear in many.

After she devoted herself to the Guoden Church, the lack of femininity she’d once possessed was more than doubled, making men forget her age when they looked at her, and making her even more beautiful.

Then there were Yuria and Linea, daughters of the late Emperor, who resembled that Eirene.

With sisters and a stepmother of such immense beauty as his baseline, it was natural that his standard for beauty would be high.

But, leaving aside all those superficial appearances—

there was no man who wouldn’t melt at the sight of someone who didn’t laugh at what I loved, accepted me completely, and even understood my secret hobbies.

Ares, despite his radical ideology, was just a man, after all.

Ever since the day he had lashed out and said terrible things to her, Ares always thought.

I wanted to apologize for my past mistakes even now, and say thank you to her for bringing color back into my life.

Even if, there was a hidden reason for her approaching me, it didn’t matter.

That doesn’t mean what I gained from her, the time we spent together, would all become a lie, right?

I thought there would be a chance someday.

Like every other day… because she always came to see me at a set time.

I was taking it so for granted—

* * *

—Taken it, for granted.

‘…’

Ares lay in bed, not coming out all day.

He had prayed several times since that day – but god did not answer.

Well, of course, he wouldn’t answer. Prayer is supposed to be a straight line. Even Erin, who’s said to communicate with god, probably just talks at him, it’s obviously one-sided…

For him, who never believed in religion from the start, for god to show mercy now?

Even if he was god himself, he wouldn’t give such a non-believer a straight dose of truth.

Ares buried his face in his pillow, thinking.

‘… Maybe she was just indirectly saying we couldn’t meet.’

That nun using the name Karen, she didn’t want to reunite with me.

Knowing that, the Saint blocked any chance of a meeting with me and said some nonsense to be considerate –

Thinking like that, it all made sense.

If that was truly the case, I wouldn’t go out of my way to find her.

I just wanted to apologize for getting angry at the end. To say sorry.

Yeah.

Next time I see the Saint, I’ll ask her to pass on those words, at least.

And then, just try to forget. Even if I want to see her so, so much… if she doesn’t want to see me… I give up.

Give up.

I give up…

‘… … .’

When I come to, I find myself soaking the pillowcase.

… I want to see her.

I want to share meaningless small talk together again.

I want to laugh and play chess together.

I want to learn more from the nun… from my sister…

――Knock knock knock.

“… … !!!!!!”

I bolt up.

Ares, hearing someone knock on the door, shoots up like he’d been struck by lightning.

This sound… could it be… ?

‘Sis…?!’

Rushing frantically to open the door, what greets me is—

Brown hair, brown eyes.

A faint, but definite mole at the corner of her mouth.

A nun, with a habit slit too high, but worn with pristine neatness… the nun who had vanished.

“…Greetings, Your Highness. It’s been a long time.”

And at that instant.

Like explosion magic going off in my head, a roar—

* * *

[yee_gwa_gwa_deon: (Donation / ₩10,000 / 3x Advance payment of ₩3,000, with ₩1,000 bonus)]

[yee_gwa_gwa_deon: I’ll tell you what to do from now on]

* * *

—Ten thousand won donation, hooray!

—Ten thousand won donation, hooray!

A ‘providence’ of God, made of words I didn’t even understand, something no created being could possibly comprehend—

*Thump, thud—* it burst forth again and again.