Why Ignorant Harems Are Dangerous - Chapter 46



46 – #11. Hero Craving (3)

She remembers shouting at Cecilia that she would walk her own path.

I thought I would reach out to the future, but in the end I stopped in a place like this and waited for someone’s help.

Mea, or Jack.

With the slightest expectation that someone would solve this situation, he gave himself an indulgence, saying that he had no choice but to protect Lenny.

Blaming myself for not being able to do anything on my own, I just get swayed by the situation.

“…… Head.”

“Mister… ?”

The sins I committed cannot be reversed.

It was a sin that had already happened, but did the human being, or me, change anything after that? Has anything changed from the cowardly weakling who was satisfied with what was given and could not turn a blind eye to the surroundings?

Not at all.

Surprisingly, nothing has changed.

At this point, isn’t he an absurdly consistent human being?

While talking about wanting to change, nothing has really changed. Only then will Neira, who left cheering for my future, burst out laughing.

Atonement?

How can I be so helpless and weak?

The reason why he shouted loudly in front of Cecilia was because he had Mea on his back. I realized all over again that I was making noise thinking that something had changed when nothing had changed.

Yes.

It was a strange sound.

Even though I knew it anyway.

Even though I had known from long ago the source of human incompetence and weakness.

“My head is about to burst.”

“Mr. ….”

The girl hesitated for a moment.

A cautious movement, as if reaching out for something that shouldn’t be touched. However, her gestures gradually became clearer, and the child, who would not be able to see her eyes, turned her head and stared in this direction. I felt that way.

“Mister, you always seem to be frightened.”

For now, it felt as if all the fuss around me had disappeared.

It is an illusion that this girl and I are alone in this world. In it, the girl touched my most sensitive part, and I couldn’t even refute it.

“Don’t be too scared.”

“…… What are you talking about?”

“Because I trust you.”

Lenny said the same thing in the last kingdom.

You believe in me.

…… That sounds funny.

I can’t even trust myself, this girl believes me, she does. Is it because I protected this child from the worst situation?

She knows that she’s not a pure favourite, but she’ll trust me with this kid.

The reason I protected this child just started from the process of wanting to change. It was just a pretentious good deed to make an excuse for myself and a desire to soothe the terrible solitude.

“I don’t think anything will change just because I am by your side, but I will still be by your side.”

“…… I thought it was the role of an adult to appease in a situation like this.”

“Even if you hate yourself, I will always trust you.”

Her clasped hands were slightly strained.

“That’s right, mister.”

Eventually, the girl spoke.

“You can do whatever you want.”

What I want to do.

What did I want to do?

Running away from here? Giving up?

Unfortunately, it was neither.

Punishment pays for sin, and atonement for it.

All I ever wanted was that.

“…… Because I’m fine.”

Lenny’s kindness was pure, but she seemed to be declaring not to run away.

I believe. So don’t run away

Is it because I have a twisted personality that I end up accepting it like that? If it’s pure favor, you’ll think you don’t deserve it, but I don’t know how to react to pure trust.

I remembered what Neira said about moving towards the future.

In order to go there, the first thing I have to do is pay off my sins.

Until now, I was running away because I didn’t know how to settle it, and I was afraid to face the crime myself.

What kind of good deeds are there to cover all my sins?

“Eina-sama!!”

Someone shouted.

A tearing scream was heard, and a scream that could not be ignored even if one wanted to ignore it dominated the crowd. The sound of hitting the ground, shouting, and screaming were heard one after another.

Outside, there were people fighting with one single thought to protect the people gathered here.

They were definitely warriors and heroes.

In the realm of mindset, not a matter of qualifications, they all called themselves heroes and thought they were not lacking.

“Uncle.”

Although his eyes were not visible because of the bandages, the corners of his mouth curled up gently.

“What do you want to do?”

“…… Preceding. I want to pay for my sins with good deeds to the point of covering up all my sins. I wanted to be myself, not averting my eyes from others.”

Because that didn’t work out, until now I’ve always been a fugitive.

Cowardly, weak, nasty.

Lack of courage. If I go one step further, there might be someone there who needs my help, but I always backed out because I lacked the courage to face it head-on.

“…… You have always been a wonderful person to me?”

“I can’t be proud. Even now, I am a bystander who just watches from behind like this.”

It was always like that.

Even in modern times, I thought it was foolish to see someone stepping up.

Even when I came to this fantasy world and realized the ability to be fascinated, I lived my life just living with what I was given rather than worrying about it.

Until now, no matter how much time passed, I couldn’t clear up my sins.

Then, what is needed to cover up this mistake?

“Still, I think you can do it.”

“…… Now that I see it, Lenny, are you also secretly strict?”

“Is that so?”

I smiled at the girl’s question in a soft voice.

Giving up is hard.

I already realized how painful it is to throw away all future possibilities and settle down. It would probably be impossible to erase that sense of shame and self-hatred even if it lasted a lifetime.

“A hero.”

Mea, who ran to save us the other day, was a hero in itself.

She remembered that she was not part of the title of hero, but was literally what it meant to be a hero.

“Can we take a step forward?”

“You are my hero and my savior.”

It’s difficult to accept such heavy expectations.

…… I would have said that normally, but now the pressure was pushing me down.

I recommend you to go one step further.

* * *

Although we had to use the unexpected North Gate as our escape route, it wasn’t a big problem since we managed all the supplies and wagons we needed to escape anyway.

That’s why Mea was buying time by stopping all the witches approaching the area, and now, if Jack brings Seo or Lenny to her mansion, she is ready to leave immediately.

“…… What?”

“It failed. Let alone the mansion, I can’t even approach the area right now.”

However, Jack couldn’t bring Seo and Lenny in the end.

She bit her teeth and turned her head away.

“…… After all, I have to go myself.”

“You’d better quit. I wandered around, but the number of monsters gathered there exceeded hundreds.”

“Then you’re saying let me die?”

Jack sighed at the nervous reaction.

I knew this would happen.

Seo himself didn’t notice it, but it was an open secret to the people in the mansion that Mea was very considerate of him behind the scenes or following his back with her eyes.

But now the story is different.

Even if she was Countess Mea Louis Agnes, she could not be sure what would happen if she was surrounded by that number of demons.

Besides, let me add.

“Listen! Would I give up on you or that kid easily? It’s not like that, I just checked while walking around, and all the monsters are moving in a certain place?”

“…… What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know what it is either, but those guys who are said to have no intelligence are moving in a certain pattern. I’m sure it’s because I’ve been wandering around here and there, collecting information from the kids, and drawing it.”

Jack took out Sachery’s map and pointed it at Mea.

I couldn’t confirm the area where the demons appeared, but it was clear that the directions and routes that had been marked were pointing to a certain area as the road was blocked by the demons’ procession.

“It’s not clear, but first of all, the direction the group is heading and the mansion are misaligned. So, rather than overdoing the move right away, it is certain to find a gap in the current position and move.”

“…… Still, just in case Also I….”

“Then who guards the supplies we need to escape?”

In the current situation, the enemy wasn’t just a monster.

As much as the city was in chaos, there were many people trying to escape, and it was only natural that there were people heading to the north gate, and there were also quite a few people who had their eyes on this place with wagons and supplies nearby.

“We alone are not enough in numbers. If the Count doesn’t stop it, even this will be stolen.”

“…… No. No way. If he dies….”

But Mea shook her head despite her seemingly reasonable words.

If anything goes wrong.

So if Seo died, she couldn’t bear it. My love, my heart, and at least my whole life was toward him, but if that subject leaves, there is no reason to remain in this world.

“This is really absurd.”

Not understanding that, Jack let out a deep sigh.

“Why the hell does the Count worry about you like a child?”

Of course, he was also a member of the party, and I thought he was an interesting person, so I had no intention of giving up on Jack.

But if you go to rescue two people and everyone dies, that would be ridiculous.

Even if that wasn’t the case, Jack was sure that Seo or Lenny would be fine for a while.

“I don’t know what you’re so worried about, but let’s trust and wait.”

“If you die then. Then, when that happens, I…… !!”

To Mea’s nervous question, Jack sneered and answered.

“That older brother is strong. He might think that the Count thinks he’s gentle, but he’s at least good enough to be evaluated as quite strong no matter where he is presented.”

In the meantime, Jack sparred with Seo and saw a glimpse of his skills.

He judged that he was quite strong from the time he escaped from the Holy Kingdom, but what he felt after seeing him personally was that a man named Seo was stronger than he said.

Compared to his extremely low self-evaluation, his skills are of a high standard.

Of course, compared to the hero level, it was ridiculous and compared to Jack, it was somewhat weak, but at least compared to Jack himself, it was not overwhelming enough to be pushed back.

“Even though he’s always cowering, he’s basically pretty strong? Trust me and leave it to me.”

Mea knew that too.

Even if you run away while dealing with the beast right now, it will be too late.

Assuming Jack’s words were true, it could have been faster to wait for the group of monsters to proceed and then run away.

However, it is a different matter from being emotionally calm even if your head thinks so.

She thought, biting her lower lip.

“They said that all demonic beasts move to one place.”

“I don’t know the exact location, but if I were to draw a single line… ….”

He looked at the map for a moment and drew a line.

“It looks like you’re moving to this city’s official residence?”